Best Friends Tell Each Other Everything

Lorna's POV 2!

10 am

Everyone was now sat there waiting, Me, Alyson, Elliot, Gaby, Rachel and Linda, My mum’s best friend. The car was meant to be here by now. Everything was so awkward and silent. I was sat in between Elliot and Gaby to stop them from arguing
“Does anyone want a drink?”I asked. No one answered. I walked through to the kitchen and got some milkshake but I knew it wouldn’t be able to cheer me up.
“Car’s here” Rachel’s voice had suddenly changed it wasn’t her usually hyper high pitched squeal she’d said it with no emotion at all. Everyone stood up and walked out the door towards the door. Gaby linked my arm. I’m glad she was here even if she does argue with Elliot all the time. Elliot grabbed my hand but I really wasn’t sure if he was doing it genuinely or just doing it because Gaby had my other arm. The herse was in front of the long black car we were all going in and you could see Becky’s little pink coffin sitting in the back it look so small compared to a normal sized coffin, she was too young to die. My eyes were welling up already but I couldn’t cry for Aly’s sake
“I’ve forgotten my bag.” I said, speaking for the first time in a while. I didn’t even have a bag ready I just felt sick. Becky shouldn’t be out there in that coffin, she should be here with us playing out in the garden on the swings or watching TV or anything, she just shouldn’t be gone. I was in my room grabbing things to put in the bag, my phone, iPod even though I wouldn’t use them and my sunglasses. This woman who I didn’t even know started talking to me at mum and dad’s wake about how she always took sunglasses to funerals to cover up her crying so people wouldn’t come over constantly hugging her and asking if she was ok. That was what I needed. I grabbed the bag and walked out through the door and into the car. I had been given the seat right in the middle so all I could see looking out of the window was Becky’s coffin lying there. She always hated it when she was left by herself even if you just left the room for two minutes she would start crying but now she was all alone in the little coffin. I had barely spoken to my sister all day even in the car she was sitting away from me with Rachel. The whole way through mum and dad’s funeral we sat together holding hands not letting go but today was different. The car started moving away, it must be the slowest car ever.

That unbearable journey... The feeling in the pit of my stomach like it was all going to churn up and bubble away. It felt like nerves mixed with guilt and fear, but I couldn’t show this, I had to be strong for Alyson.
The car was driving at little over 5 miles an hour. The hearse in front was slowly rocking causing the coffin to shake. The flowers were swinging from side to side as the car crawled down the busy main road, causing traffic to build up behind us, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was getting to the crematorium and having everything finished. I don’t want this to happen anymore. At least after today I won’t feel guilty for leaving poor Becky alone, just lying there, in a dark, cold, hollow coffin.
“You okay?” Gaby asked. I don’t know how to reply. I’m not ok. Of course I’m not. How can I be ok when this tiny baby is lying in a coffin without her Mummy, or Auntie to look after her? How can I be ok when she hasn’t got dolly with her, or her favourite blanket to keep her wrapped up when she’s cold? How can I ever be ok again?
“Fine” I said. What else could I say? Nothing. Aly’s sitting right there infront of me and I couldn’t say no and burst into tears exactly, could I? That wouldn’t be fair on her...
Elliot pushed his hands through the seat and held my hand. I smiled at him but heard Gaby sigh and seem to go in a huff. To be honest, I don’t care anymore. I’m leaving them alone and that’s it. I can’t handle this today.

The car turned a corner and there it was. That place. The place where everything was officially going to end. The Crematorium. People were gathered outside. Not many, just a small selection of close people to Becky. Parents from the toddler group and some of my old friends; Gavin and Pauline, our old next door neighbours, were there. Aunties, Uncles, Parents old friends. But altogether, there was only around 30 of us.

I stepped out of the car and noticed a small collection of flowers at the main entrance to the crematorium. Some baskets or bouquets, but there was one big one that spelt out BABY BECKY. My eyes were starting to sting already and we weren’t even inside. Everyone was staring at me, as though they expected me to be more upset, but I couldn’t. I can’t cry here. Not in front of so many people.

My old best friend, Claire, started walking towards me. I could see Lesley and Megan in the background too. It’d only been a month since I’d last seen them, but felt like a life time. “Lorna...” Claire said, unsure of what to say. She’d been my best friend since we were 4. I closed my eyes and didn’t hug back. I was scared that if I even opened my mouth, I’d cry. I turned around to see Aly talking to the funeral director, so I walked over to her.
“ I know this must be very difficult for you right now, but we need to know how you want to coffin brought in. Will a family member do it, or would you prefer our drivers to?”
I saw Alyson’s face drop. I could tell she was feeling sick by the thought of anyone touching her little girl... But she knew she had to say something. She gripped onto my hand.
“A driver. I don’t want any family touching her. A driver” She stuttered. Her eyes were going red and puffy already. She slowly staggered towards the flowers and red the messages attached to each one. I bent down and hugged her as she started shaking. I didn’t know what else to do, but be there for her. I felt someone tug on my shoulder and turned around. It was Gaby.
“They’re bringing the coffin inside now. We have to follow them” She sounded upset just having to tell me. I nodded at her and pulled Alyson up. We faced the man bringing in the small, pink coffin. I still don’t believe Becky’s in there. She must feel so squashed in that tiny space.

Alyson stood shaking as the coffin went passed us, but followed anyway. We walked slowly down the aisle until we got to the end and started filling in the rows. I was trying to look anywhere but at the coffin. Everyone else was filing in behind us and Elliot came and sat next to me, much to Gaby’s annoyance, who had to sit behind me. But if it means they won’t be arguing through this then I’m fine with it. The music in the background stopped and the priest stood up at the front.
“We’re here on this sad day, to remember the life of little Becky Wilson, who was taken away from us at such a young age. “
I stopped listening. I blocked out all sound and just focussed on the fact that I’d never see Becky smile again, never see her cry, never see her say “Look Lorna, watch this.” Ever again. I’m never going to see her again, and it’s only just sinking in. The priest starts blubbering on about God and praying, but none of us even believed in God, so why is she saying these things?
I could hear Aly sniffing next to me and it only set me off. The tears just poured out of my eyes and I couldn’t control them. I tried to make them stop, but I couldn’t. The thought of never seeing her again, it just felt to difficult. I held Aly’s hand and carried on looking towards the priest.
“So now we’ll all listen to the words of her dear mother, who shall tell us what a brilliant child Rebecca Wilson was”.
Aly stood up. What’s she doing? How can she make a speech in front of all these people without breaking down? More to the point, why didn’t she tell me?
“ I know how normally when people come up here, they tell you how horrible it’s going to be without the person they’ve lost. But today, I’m going to tell you how great it was to have her. She was my sweet little angel-“ She paused to look at Becky’s coffin and tears welled up in her eyes.“ She used to laugh at the silliest things. When people just pulled a face, she’d giggle and you couldn’t ever shut her up. Even her cry... Her small, sweet cry.
I used to hate having to wake up to feed her, but now I miss it so much. I miss the feeling of being a Mummy.
I remember when I first had Becky. They said it was a miracle she’d survived after being strangled by the umbilical cord, but she pulled through. Her little face was so cute and small. Her little fingers and toes... delicate to the touch.
All I want to say is remember Becky for the way she was. Don’t think of her how she was when she was so ill. Think of her how she was when she was a well and healthy child. I’ll never forget my baby-“She walked over to the coffin. She kissed her hand and placed it on it. “ I never will. I love you Becky. Please stay safe with Mum and Dad.”
I couldn’t help but cry harder when she said this. It was as though the room was spinning. Like everything was tumbling and I was just sat there in the middle, not paying any attention. I didn’t even see Aly sit next to me again. I only knew she was there when she started shaking and sobbing heavily. The priest stood back up and started talking again.
“As asked for by the family, the curtain will stay open for the rest of the ceremony”I looked at Alyson who nodded and smiled at the priest.
“ It is a shame to say goodbye to those who were with us for such a short time, but Becky was loved by so many people. You will have those memories of her, forever. Nothing can change them. Let us now have a moments silence whilst we listen to one of Becky’s favourite songs.”She went silent for a moment and then click a button. Then came on the most cheesy, funny, and most memorable song in the world...
There’s a worm at the bottom of the garden,
And it’s name is Wiggly Woo.
I smiled to myself remembering her silly dance moves she used to do. Shaking her hips and pulling silly faces. And I’m never going to see her do that ever again.
There’s a worm at the bottom of the garden,
And all that he can do is...
Wiggle all night and wiggle all day;
It can't jump and it can't play.
There's a worm at the bottom of the garden
And its name is Wiggly Woo.

The song ended and I looked around the room. Everyone was smiling, but crying at the same time. It was a silly song to put on at a funeral, but it was her song. And next time I hear that, I know I’m going to break down and cry my eyes out. It was her song. It always will be her song.
“ Now we will pray. Our lord...”
It all blurred out again. I don’t care about praying. I don’t want to pray. I want to talk about Becky. Not God.
“ If there is anybody who would like to share their memories of Little Becky, or say anything about her, you may come and do it now.”
No one moved. Not a single soul moved. But then I saw someone edging from behind those stood up at the back. They walked forwards until they were in view. It was Neil. Neil who left Aly when times got hard. Neil, Becky’s Dad.
He walked towards the alter, and stopped when he got to the stand. The whole crowd was in silence. Aly was sat shaking next to me. I just watched in amazement.
“ My Baby Becky” He started crying harder as he looked at the grave.
“ I haven’t seen Becky for almost 6 months, and I had no idea she was ill. I loved my little Becks. She was the sweetest angel. So delicate and beautiful. And I didn’t want to come here and have to say goodbye. But I have to. I never wanted to say goodbye in the first place. But I was forced to” He glared at Aly. I don’t understand. He walked out on her. Why’s he here pretending he had no idea about anything, saying he wanted none of this to happen, when it’s his fault!?
“ I hate how the last 6 months, I haven’t seen Becky once. I hate how Alyson just packed up and left, before I could even say goodbye. I hate how I’ll never see poor Becks again” He walked over to the coffin.“ Goodbye my little angel”
He wiped his eyes and stormed to the back of the room, making sure he gave Aly evils on his way. I looked at Aly who was crying harder. Is this really what happened? Did she really leave him? Did she really just go without saying? Her face was telling me. It was full of guilt and she wouldn’t look me in the eye. She really did do this. She really has ruined his life. She made him find out he lost his child by... What? People gossiping on the street? It’s pathetic. She’s pathetic. I can’t look at her. How she can lie when her baby is lying in a hospital bed, attached to so many cords, her body limp... And she still lied, 6 months later, when her baby’s dead, in a cramped coffin... Without Dolly.
“ Would anyone else like to say anything?”
Nothing. No one stirred. I think everyone was still in shock. Everyone, well on our side of the family and our friends had though Neil had been the one who left her and not the other way around. I was so confused. She had lied to me. The nights I spent with her in Becky’s room in the hospital her crying saying she wished he cared they were all fake. I wanted to say something. Ask her about all this but now definitely wasn’t the time.
“If no one else would like to say anything we will proceed with the ceremony”
The last song began to play. She’s so lovely. That was my favourite song a few months ago. I listened to it constantly and anytime Becky heard the song she would sit and giggle. Aly stood up so did I. I felt horrible, Neil was closer family than I was but he still wasn’t coming. The thought that kept replaying round in my head was that all my new friends who I had known for only a few days knew about his child’s death before him. I knew she would probably hate me for this but I really didn’t care, Aly had started to walk up to the coffin but I had to do this he had a right to say goodbye to his daughter.
“Neil?” I sniffed. Again he made his way through the crowd standing around the back of the church, he also shouldn’t be standing there, he should be sitting with us but obviously my sister was too selfish to see that. Alyson shot me a look but I knew deep down she knew it was the right thing to do.
“ Bye B-Becky” Tears were still running down my cheeks.
“Bye Sweetie, I’ll always love you”
“Even when I wasn’t there bex I was still thinking about you”
Alyson took my hand and we walked down the aisle and out of the church, Neil followed.

Natalie's POV

Haha! I love Zak! He’s so funny! Not love as in, “I love him, want to marry him, have babies, grow old” kinda love. I love him like a mate!! He’s def my best mate here. I mean, loon and gabs are my besties too, much their connection is deeper together than it is with me, and I’m fine with that! And I’m sure they’ll be okay about Zak. Haha! What does he look like!
“Please let me put mascara on you? Please?” I ask, giggling
“No way! I already look a muppet!” he says
Maybe I should explain? Zak wants that drink I owe him, and somehow, I’ve managed to somehow get him to dress up in Kris’ clothes and I’ve made him up!! I do have to wear his Liverpool kit!! See what I mean? A bestie!
“Mascara will complete your look” I nod
“I don’t care! I feel stupid!” he says
“You look it too!” Zoe jokes, walking past
“That’s it! I’m not going!” he turns back towards his room
“Zak! No! no! no! Please! Come back! You look great! Come on! No mascara?” I say, standing in his doorway so he can’t get in
“Fine! I’m only having one though!” he insists
“We’ll see” I smile, and link his arm, and we leave the flat.


******************************

We walk into the SU bar, and instantly people are staring, but I don’t care. Zak clearly does though!
“You do realise they’re ladies girls clothes?” someone jokes
“Shut it Russ! I told you, I look insane” he turned to me
“You look fine! Confident. Girls like that” I tell him
“I don’t care what girls like, I don’t like it” he moans
“Come on! Pint?” I ask
“What else?” he jokes. After a few more, or maybe some more, we stumble to The Loft. When we get there, we see Justin with Danny, but I don’t care. Well, I do, but he doesn’t. Ooh, Hannah’s here! She chatting to some girl behind the bar!
“HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!” I screech! After a few dances, Zak decides he wants to go.
“I’m best be going” he slurs
“No! Stay!”
“I can’t! Stay here with Hannah. I insist”
“Are you sure?” I ask, disappointed
“Yes. I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?” he asked

******************************
Justin and Danny are at the bar still. Oh well.
“I’m going I think. I’m just going to tell Danny”
She goes over to Danny, and Justin turns around and sees me. Oh no, he’s coming over. Hannah’s coming back too. I really don’t want to talk to him when I’m drunk though.I quickly walk to the exit.
“Natalie! Natalie, wait!” he shouts
“Nat!” Hannah calls
I’m halfway down the stairs, and, no! My heals stuck! I cant get it out! Its caught! I pull, and wiggle my shoe. I cant take them off! I love them! Okay, I don’t, they’re Kris‘s!! I’m wiggling, and wiggling, and, AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

*Thud*

Gaby's POV |Part One

The funeral was horrible. Half an hour of talk about poor baby Becky. I hadn’t even met her and I was in floods. It got worse when Neil went up there. I don’t know who Neil is either, but by what he said - I’m guessing he’s Becky’s Dad. We’re on our way to the wake. I don’t really think I can stand going to a wake right now, but you know...
Wakes are strange. You always expect to go there and everyone will be in tears, but they’re not. They’re having a laugh, being normal. I don’t think that’s going to happen today. Don’t ask me why, because I really don’t know.

“You ok?” I asked Lorna, who was sitting in the limo seat in front of me.
“Not really, no.” She muttered. I could tell she was sobbing. I put my arm through to hold her hand, but Elliot violently bashed it away so it smacked against the window really hard.
“Oww?!” I said, really obviously and as more of a question than a statement. It was my way of asking why the hell he’d just done that! He pushed his hand through the gap to hold Lorna’s hand.
“What was that?” Lorna asked, turning around.
“Just Gaby being stupid.” Elliot said quickly.
“Hello?!” I replied, giving him a confused look.
“Gaby, calm down, ok?! No one in here is in the best of moods and you’re not making it any better. I personally don’t see why you’re here.” He said, smugly.
“Elliot!!” Lorna said, outraged. “She’s here because I want her to be. And if you two can’t get along...”
“Don’t worry Lorna. That’s why I’m leaving tomorrow.” I said, rolling my eyes. “Although I think ‘Alien man’ should go, really.” I sighed, going into a strop and staring out of the window.

When we got back to the house Elliot went straight up to his room and didn’t even say where he was going to Lorna or anyone. He just stormed off. I guess it was because Lorna didn’t stand up for him when I called him Alien Boy... But it’s true. He is an Alien Boy.
“How rude!” I said, in a really posh voice. Lorna stared at me. “What?”
“I don’t like you two arguing.”
“To be honest, it’s his fault.”
“Oh really, so if he was here he’d admit that would he?” She replied.
“No, because he’s arrogant and a freak.” I told her. “No offence...” I muttered afterwards, when I felt a little mean.
“Lots taken!!” She said, angrily.
“Lorna.” I said, as she walked off into the main room. “Lorna!” She didn’t turn around, just carried on. “Garh! Lorna!!” I shouted, running after her. The room’s packed with everyone that was at the funeral. I scanned the room for Lorna and didn’t see her. I walked through the crowd and saw so many random people, looking down their noses at me. Snobs.
I looked over into the corner of the room and finally found her. Uh oh... She’s with Neil and Aly, and they’re all crying.

“Why Didn’t You Tell Me?!” Neil cried.
“I couldn’t.” Aly muttered in return.
“Aly, how could you?” Lorna snapped.
“I couldn’t deal with it. The pressure. I needed space and with you, Neil, I wasn’t getting any!”
“But you know I would’ve been there. I would’ve supported you-”
“-But that’s the thing. I DON’T KNOW THAT!” She shouted back. Tears were pouring down her cheeks. I watched from a distance before I finally plucked up the courage to go and support Lorna.
I didn’t say anything, I just put my arm around her. She was in tears and as soon as I was there, her head was on my shoulder.
“I had a right to know that my own daughter had cancer! Do you know how horrible it is having to hear that my little Becks is Dead from people in the supermarket?! Do you know how that feels?!” Neil cried.
“Alyson, Mum and Dad would be so disappointed with you.” Lorna spoke before storming off outside.
“I’ve just had to say goodbye to my baby and you’re here having a shouting match with me?!” She screamed. The whole room went silent. The music went quieter so that people could hear.
“Encase you’ve forgotten, Aly. She was my baby too!” Neil spat before walking out of the room. There was silence for a second. No one speaking. I walked over to Aly to giver her a hug and she broke down. The tears pouring from her eyes.

“Aly, I’ll be back in two seconds, yeah?” I said, pulling away. She nodded and wandered off into the kitchen. I quickly ran out of the room, through the front door and down the garden path. He was already half way down the road. I took my heels off and ran, ripping the bottom of my tights, but oh well. Who sees them anyway?
“Neil!” I called, when I was about 5 meters away. He turned around. He’d been crying a lot.
“What?” He said through gritted teeth.
“Please come back.” I muttered.
“Back there?! With her?” He said, angrily.
“I know what she did was wrong, but she wasn’t thinking straight. You have to realise that she’s lost her baby too. And I know that all you can think is that she didn’t tell you, but it was because she was scared of losing little Becky. You have to understand, that what happened was through fear, not that she didn’t think you cared.” I told him.
He looked at the floor and didn’t say a word. Man, he’s selfish. I mean, I know he’s just lost his kid and all, but so has she! You’d think he’d have a little bit of respect and not make a scene on a day like this, but nooo. Who am I kidding? Men love to make scenes. Especially Kris! That’s why I love him. This is absurd! I’m here, at Lorna’s, trying to solve a problem and Kris is what I’m thinking about.

“I can’t see her now. I can’t. I’m sorry –” He stopped, trying to think of what my name was.
“Gaby.”
“Gaby. I’m sorry. I can’t. She’s hurt me more than I ever thought imaginable. I c-can’t.”
And with that, he ran off. Pretty much sprinted down the road. Freak... I don’t mean to be cruel, but he is. Blaming her. I understand why Lorna is, but he’s out of order. Alyson’s been through so much recently. I bet she had more of a reason to leave him other than fear. She wouldn’t just do that, would she?

-
When I got back to the house, I instantly went out to the back garden to find Lorna. I saw her sitting at the edge of the pool, her feet dipped in it. I sat next to her. She instantly moved over a little bit, thinking I’m Aly, but when she sees it’s me, she moves back.
“What happened?” She muttered. “I heard yelling”
“Nothing interesting. Just another shouting match.”
She gave a small laugh and put her head in her hands.
“You know, when I was younger, I’d sit here like this and just leap in...” She muttered; and then two seconds later she launched herself into the pool - in her black dress and with all her expensive jewellery on.
“Lorna!!”
“What?” She asked, swimming back to the edge.
“Why did you do that?!”
“Because... I always swim when I need to think.”
“You couldn’t have put a costume on?”
“No.” She laughed.
“Good job the pools heated, or you might die!” I exaggerated. It was autumn. She just smiled and carried on swimming. I stood up to go and sit over on a chair and keep an eye on her. I didn’t know what she might do.
“Gaby, will you do me a favour?” She asked.
“Anything.”
“Will you shut the door and pull the curtain across. I don’t want anyone seeing me.” She begged.
“Yeah, of course.”

Instead of going back out to see her after closing the door I went upstairs. I didn’t want to stay awake and watch her sister go berserk when she sees her swimming in a dress (which is a little strange...)
As I went to walk into my room I saw Elliot sat on the bed in his. He was on his laptop. No doubt looking at Alien sightings.
“Nice to see that you’ve left your girlfriend to go crazy so you can come up here and mess about on your laptop. Alien sighting???” I asked, sarcastically.
“What do you mean going crazy?”
“Don’t ask...” I replied.
“Ok.”
I walked over and looked at the laptop screen. I was right.
“The Space for All Science Intellectual Outer Space Information Outlets.” I said confused. “What kind of a name is that?” I said, pushing the laptop back to him.
“It’s a very informative name actually.”
“Yeah, for dorks.”
“Like you’d care.”
“Actually I do care. Not about you. About Lorna, who’s outside, swimming in a ball gown, mourning the loss of her niece and your up here throwing a tantrum and looking at... Whatever this website looks for!”
I turned around and stormed out of the room. I went into mine and left the door open so I could hear if he went downstairs. Half an hour later, and still no sign. I gave up. He doesn’t care about her. Obviously not. I quickly whipped out my phone and rang Kris.

“Hey.” He said, obviously happy to talk to me.
“Cheer me up – now!” I begged, shutting the door and collapsing on my bed.
“That bad?”
“Worse.” I told him, sadly. I heard him sigh.
“Go on then.” He muttered, giving me permission to make a speech. I laughed.
“Well, firstly it’s been extremely annoying because of Elliot - which I kind of told you about yesterday, but didn’t exactly go into much detail. He keeps really annoying me! I swear it’s like I’m the... What’s a word for someone who doesn’t believe in Aliens? Alien-non-believer? Doesn’t matter. Anyway, he really hurt my hand this morning in the car, all because of his arrogance. Because I was comforting Lorna, he got jealous and thought “Hey! I’m the boyfriend, maybe I should be the one comforting her!” And butted me away! Now, I tell you – if we hadn’t just been coming back from the funeral I’d have hit him where it hurts! Speaking of the funeral, Kris it was horrible! I didn’t even know her and started crying. Plus, Becky’s Dad turned up and Alyson hadn’t even told him Becky had cancer! She just ran away and he found out in the local supermarket last week. How horrible is that? Oh! And Lorna’s gone mad! She’s outside, in her swimming pool, fully dressed. That’s in a big ball gown dress Kris! Kris? Kris are you even listening to me?” I finished with a deep breath. I still heard only silence on the other end.
“Rant over?” His voice suddenly spoke. I rolled my eyes.
“Did you listen to a word of that?”
“Of course I did!”
“Where did you zone out?” I asked, sighing sadly.
“I didn’t. I was listening to everything. It was difficult, as you were talking so fast, but I did it.” He said, laughing.
“What do I do?” I said, stressed.
“About what? Dork, Freak or Self obsessed?”
“Who’s who?” I asked, frantically! “They could all be more than one!”
“Dork is Elliot, Freak is Lorna and Self Obsessed is Aly.”
“Not you too...” I muttered, “None of you know how Aly must have been feeling, so don’t call her self obsessed, Kris.”
“Fine.” He said. Silence.

“Are you alright?”
“I miss you.” He said, sighing.
“It’s been a day and a half, Kris.” I said, laughing. “But still, I miss you too.”
“When are you back, again?” He asked.
“About 3ish tomorrow. I think. I’m not actually sure.” I muttered, now opening my bag to find the train tickets. I heard Elliot’s door opened and stopped.
“Ok, sounds-”
“Shh!” I interrupted Kris. He went silent.
“What?”
“Elliot.” I muttered. Then I heard the bathroom door close. “Geek.” I said, annoyed.
“Tell him to behave himself.”
“You tell him!” I snapped, dumping my bag on the floor. “Right, I really should go check that Lorna hasn’t drowned.”
“Ok.” He said, sounding a little depressed. I laughed.
“I'll see you tomorrow.” I reminded him.
“I know.” He said, “I'll see you then.”
“I love you.” I told him.
“I love you too.” He put the phone down and I felt my heart pick up pace. Still those three words give me goosebumps.

-
TO BE CONTINUED

Part Two


The sun crept through the tiny gap in my curtains, blinding me. Well, not really blinding. Making me dazzled. I pulled myself out of bed. Today I was going home. I get to see Kris. Wow, it’s weird. Only been 3 days and I already seem to miss him. I pulled myself out of bed and gathered my clothes. I put on some skinny jeans and a yellow top, then found my gold flats and went out of my room. Last time I saw Lorna, she was in floods giving Aly a hug in a sopping wet dress. I wonder if she got a good sleep. I walked down the stairs and heared her talking to Elliot.
“Elliot just shut up! I’ve had enough of you this weekend.”
“What do you mean? It’s not me it’s-”
“-Gaby? Yeah, the 10 year olds way out!” Lorna replied angrily.
“Not my fault she’s so annoying.”
“She’s not the annoying one Elliot, you are!”
She stormed through into the front room whilst I stayed in the hall way. I went in through the back door and sat on the sofa.
“Morning.” I said to her.
“Oh, hey.”
“Sleep alright?”
“I guess...” She muttered, rolling her eyes.
“Elliot?”
“Hole in one!” She said sarcastically.
“Just ignore him.”
“I am doing.” She said, smiling at me. “So what times your train?”
“Just over an hour. Half 9.”
“Ok. So we should go in about 20 minutes.” She said, standing up. “I’ll go get ready.”
“Ok. I wish I didn’t have to leave now. I feel mean leaving you here with Elliot.”
“Oh don’t worry, if things go according to plan, he’ll never be seen again!” She said, winking and prancing off to her room. I laughed and went through to the kitchen to get breakfast.
I poured myself some cereal, completely ignoring Elliot sat at the table. He was staring at me which was making me feel uncomfortable.
“Why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer.” I said, giving him an evil smile.
“Don’t start.”
“I wasn’t going to.” I laughed, taking my cereal through to the front room.
“I can’t wait till you give me and Lorna some peace.”
“I can’t wait till you’re abducted by aliens, but the chances of that are so unlikely!” I said, in a fake depressed voice. I put the cereal onto the coffee table and put the tv on. Friends was on, so I’ll watch that till I have to go. Everything’s ready. All I need now is myself and my phone. Then I can go home. Away from Elliot.

-

“Oh! It’s going to be lonely without you!” Lorna said, hugging me for the millionth time.
“Lorna, I’m seeing you tomorrow.” I said, pulling away.
“Yeah, but I have to put up with Elliot for a whole day!” She moaned
We were at the train station. I should really be getting on now, but I still have 5 minutes.
“Don’t worry. Just do what I do; Insult him and he’ll go and alien hunt” I laughed. She smiled and rolled her eyes.
“Ok, you need to find a seat.” She said, looking at the train. “Have a safe journey.” She smiled.
“I will! Bye.” I said, walking away. I got on the train and quickly found a seat. It’s time to go home.

-

Lorna had left when I got on the train. I don’t think she wanted to wait 10 minutes for me to leave, but I don’t really mind. I’m almost back now. About 5 minutes and I’ll be getting off the train and in only about 15 minutes, I’ll be seeing Kris. I flick through the magazine I was reading again. Nothing interesting.
When the train finally pulled into the station I practically ran off. I hate trains. They’re too packed and there’s not enough space. I hopped outside and got into a taxi. It’s the easiest option.
“Hollyoaks College please.” I said
“Sure thing.” He replied.
There was silence. I wasn’t bothered though. I looked at the time on my phone, 3:05pm. Not too bad for timing then, am I?
“Where’ve you been then?” He asked, looking at my case. A little rude to ask but I’m guessing he’s just making conversation.
“Near Glasgow.” I reply.
“Oh right. Visiting family?” He asked. Ok, now that is personal!
“No actually, I was at a funeral.”
“Oh dear. I’m terribly sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“What?”
“Well, it was my friends niece. I was just there to support her.” I told him.
“Aaah OK.”

There was silence and it didn’t end until we got to Halls.
“Here we are. That’ll be £5.40”
“Right..” I muttered, getting the money out and handing it to him. “Thanks” I said, getting out. I walked over to the main door and walked up the many, many, many flights of stairs. I finally got to our flat and walked in. Zoe was sat at the kitchen table. She turned around when she saw me.
“I didn’t know you were coming back today.” She said in a half shocked, half annoyed sort of way.
“Yeah... I have an essay due in tomorrow and really need to finish it.” I lied so she wouldn’t be mean.
“Oh right.” She muttered. I walked down into my room to put my things away. I opened the door and glanced around first. Perfectly normal. A little too normal... Kris has borrowed something. It better not be my Prada shoes or I'll kill him! I shut my door and dumped my suitcase on my bed. I left a few clothes out didn’t I? My designer stuff. I didn’t think anyone would be in here. Kris has been then. I opened my wardrobe. The shoes and bags that were definitely out had been shoved in the back corner. I sighed when I saw my best boots weren’t there. They were the best I had as well...

Once everything was unpacked, I collapsed on my bed and finally closed my eyes. I was so tired. I think I had about 5 hours sleep last night, if that! I just needed to rest. My eyes felt heavy and wouldn’t open anyway. I felt myself going to sleep...
“When did you get back?”
I jumped as Kris sat on the bed next to me. So much for sleep. I opened my eyes, slowly, and narrowed them when I saw him smiling.
“I’m tired.” I muttered, but sat up anyway. He kissed my head and pulled me into a hug. I relaxed against his chest and closed my eyes again.
“When did you get back?” He asked again.
“Half an hour ago? Maybe.. I don’t really know.” I said, still not opening my eyes.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” He laughed, lying back with me. I changed my position so it was comfier and then answered his question.
“About 5 hours.. But travelling is a lot more tiring then you’d think.” I said, “It wipes you out.”
“Do you want to sleep?” He asked.
“No.” I said, sighing sadly. “If I sleep now, I'll never finish this essay and I'll never sleep tonight.”
“Woe is you.” He said, sarcastically.
“Shut it now.” I said, pulling free and sitting up. He laughed, and sat up too.
“I’ve missed you.” He said.
“I know.” I replied, leaning in and kissing him. I pulled away after a minute and went to stand up, complaining at the same time. “I wish I didn’t have this stupid essay to do.”
“All part of the fun of Uni!” Kris joked. I narrowed my eyes. “I'll leave you to it.” He said, kissing me again and then walking out of the room.
“Yeah, bye.” I said quietly as the door closed. Where are my notes? It’s essay time.

xxx

Lorna’s POV

“So we’ve got no chance of convincing you stay?” Claire begged for the eighth time this morning. I just shook my head. I didn’t want to say no. Everyone at school used to say that we were attached – even teachers – It’s not like we won’t talk all the time still over the phone but it’s just not going to be the same. I know we’d already been apart from a month but I still spoke on the phone to Claire at least once a week, telling her how Becky was and things.
“What’s so good about Hollyoaks??!” She moaned, putting some more of my DVD’s into the box. I’m still not sure where I’m going to put them in halls.
“What’s so good about America??!” I said imitating her. “Hollyoaks is closer than there!”
“But America’s just – well – I don’t know – amazing” She laughed.
“Wonder if you’ll still say that if you get there?”
“What do you mean if I get there?!”
“If you get there! You need to sign all these forms and pass all the tests and things!”
“Are you trying to say I won’t!” She said acting hurt.
“Well they’re really hard!”
“Thanks for the support!” She said sarcastically making me laugh.
“I’ll miss you!” I sighed.
“I’ll miss you too!” She sighed. “I’m Co-dependent!”
“I know you are!” I laughed. “Please watch crossing the roads!”
“I will!”
“And remember they drive on the other side in America!”
She nodded. “You’re sound like we’re never going to see each other again!”
“Well, you never know!”
“Don’t scare me!” She laughed.
“You’ll come visit though, right?”
“Erm... Well...”
“You better!” I laughed.
“You’re going to come back here as well though, right?!” She said sounding panicked. “Cause I know you seem to think Hollyoaks is the best place in the world!”
“For holidays and stuff, yes” I laughed.
“Good” She smiled.
“You two sound gay” Alyson said, walking in carrying a box with all my other clothes and shoes in it. The three of us laughed. “Are you driving back down?”
I nodded. “I’m going to need to!” I said, looking at the 5 boxes piled up on my bedroom floor.
“Where’s the dork?” Alyson asked as Claire taped another box shut.
“Away a walk” I sighed. “He read something on the internet about a sighting up the Loch – which he kept calling a lake” Alyson and Claire both laughed “so he went to take a look. I said I’d go with him and he said, I have my compass, I don’t you need to”
“How romantic” Claire said, sarcastically. “That’s the boxes done”
“You’ve left stuff though. Haven’t you?”
“Yes, Why?”
“Because that means you have to come back up for Christmas to get it”
“Well, I doubt the stuff I’m taking down with me just now will fit in my room so more stuff?” I said, acting as if I was thinking about it. “Of course I’ll be back for Christmas. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because Gaby, Elliot, Natalie, Kris, Zoe and Zak might be more fun than us” Claire said, sticking her bottom lip out.
“ How do you know all their names?!” I laughed. “Have I talked about them a lot?!”
“Yes!” Aly and Claire said at the same time.
“Sorry!” I laughed.
“Well at least you’re ditching us for decent people” Claire laughed. She’d stayed over last night. Elliot was completely ignoring us. Last night he spent 4 hours in his room while Claire, Alyson Rachel and Me had an all nighter in the living room. They weren’t meant to be staying over in the first place but they did when Elliot had gone to sleep at half 10! I wasn’t ignoring him at all but he was just being so moody with me. He hadn’t put his laptop down once since Gaby left. I actually regret giving him the Wireless Network password.
“Hello!” Elliot shouted from the hall. I clambered over all the boxes and opened the door. “In here” I shouted through to him.
“Oh” He said walking through and into the room. “Can we go now, then?”
“What?” I snapped. That was rude.
“Well aren’t we leaving soon?” He asked in a strange arrogant way.
“We can go whenever”
“Well can we have left by 11 then, It’s just I’ve got this meeting at 3 and I want to be there”
“An Alien thing?” I sighed.
“Yes. It’s really interesting. Today we’re discussing the theory that –“ What he went on to say was all a blur. Claire was giving me a look to tell me she doesn’t like him. At the moment I’m not sure I do either. Asking to leave is rude but we should get going soon anyway so that we’re back down at halls for dinner time.
“Wouldn’t want you to miss that” I said, in a serious voice as if I had actually been paying attention.
“So we’re leaving at 11 then?”
I nodded. Alyson and Claire sighed.
“Oh that’s good. I’ll go get my things together.”
The girls waiting till the door shut before they started. “You can do so much better than him!” Claire snapped. “He’s so rude!”
“You could get someone so much better looking as well!”
“Someone more interesting!”
“With blue eyes!” Alyson said, knowing it’d make me interested. I laughed.
“I like Elliot” I sighed. “He’s not that bad”
“Yes! So he’s not perfect!” Claire jumped in.
“Well ...” I paused.
“I proved my point!” She said smugly.
“I better go pack the rest of my stuff” I said, walking out of the door and down the corridor.
“It won’t last!” Alyson shouted.
“I agree” Claire shouted back. I don’t know what was worse. My best friend and my sister really dislike my new boyfriend or that my best friend just agreed with my sister!!

“Hollyoaks Community College” I said, as we pulled into the carpark. I hadn’t driven my car in over a month which felt like forever. It took me and Alyson half an hour to get Becky’s car seat out of the back of it to fit the boxes into my crappy white Corsa which we thought was an achievement as it had taken us almost 2 hours to get the thing into the car in the first place.
“Can you see a parking space?” I asked even though Elliot wasn’t speaking to me we’d had an argument as we were passing the border because I wasn’t sure if Gretna had had any alien sightings and when I went on to say I didn’t care he just got more and more mad and we hadn’t spoken since. I poked him in the side and he sad up straight away causing his earphone to fall out.
“Sorry was listening to a podcast on Alien Sightings since I do care!” He snapped. “What did you say?”
“Can you see any parking spaces?” I asked again this time sounding more agitated.
“Yes. Over there” He stated, looking straight ahead.
“Where?” I said.
“There!”
“Where is there Elliot?!” I said, stressing.
He pointed to a space over below a tree. He exhaled angrily.
“Thank you” I said sarcastically.
“You’re Welcome” He snapped back.
“Oh quarter to three!” I said. “You better go if you want to go to your thingy “
“Alien Seekers Society!” He snapped.
“That spells ASS!” I laughed.
“You are so immature!”
“But it does!” I laughed.
“You really need to grow up!” He snapped.
“Oh Elliot just go!”
“Gladly!” He said, sternly getting out of the car and slamming the door shut and walking off.
“Don’t worry dear I’ll get your bag!” I snapped sarcastically. I got out of the car and went round to the boot and opened it up. Our bags were in the boot with one of the boxes. I lifted out both of our backs and carefully balanced the box on top of my case. I was waiting on it to fall as I shut the boot down and locked the car. I dragged both cases slowly towards the entrance off Halls so that the box wouldn’t fall. When I reached the bottom of the step I realised I was going to have to leave something at the bottom of the stairs but I didn’t really want to leave anything.
“Need a hand?” Zoe asked from behind me.
“Please!” I begged.
“No problem” She smiled. “Where’s Elliot?”
“Ditched me to go to ASS” I smiled, i still found it amusing.
“What?!” She asked.
“The Alien Seekers Society or something like that” I laughed.
“Oh!” She nodded, understanding now. “What do you want me to take?”
“Anything” I begged. “I’ve got another 4 boxes in the car”
“Oh” She said, realising there was no way we could take everything up in one go. “Zak’ll be in the flat” She said, taking the box and lifting it up the stairs. I followed her up the stairs with both our bags.
“Thanks Zo” I smiled.
“No problem”

---

“Thank you!” I said as Zak placed down the last box in my bedroom. Zoe was sitting on my bed looking through all my DVD’s and giving me her ratings of them while I was trying to put them underneath my bed. “Fancy going to the SU? I owe you both a drink”
“Free Alcohol.” Zak said, making out that he was thinking seriously about the offer. “I’m in”
“Me too” Zoe said, finally looking up from the box giving me a chance to pull it away and push it under the bed.
“Kris and Gaby in?” I asked.
“They went out”
“Where?” I asked. I seriously cannot control my nosiness!
“Some date they had talked about” Zoe said. “So I don’t know” She shrugged.
“Interesting” I laughed. All three of us went silent. “So the SU?”

Gaby's POV |Part One... of 3!

“Kris, get off me now!” I said sternly. He wasn’t helping me finish my essay by trying to get me to go for a drink. He kissed my cheek again and I sighed. “This isn’t helping!”
“Please?” He begged, laughing now.
“Essay Kris! First ever essay at university!” I reminded him.
“Which is why they’ll let you off if you miss the deadline.”
“Which is something I am not going to do because you’re going to go out alone.” I said, smiling and pulling away from him. He rolled his eyes.
“Gaby, take it from me – a second year student. Your lecturer won’t care if you’re a day late on your deadline for your first essay. It is an essay to see what you know already, not a real major thing. He will say ‘next time bring it in on time’ and that is that. You don’t get detentions anymore, missy.” He said, mockingly.
“Do you think I am completely stupid?” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Of course I know you don’t get detentions.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” He asked, trying to pull me up. I sighed heavily and stood up. He smiled, “Yes!”
I smiled and walked towards my door with him. I took two steps out of my room, made sure he was a bit further away, and then ran back in, locking the door.
“Cheat!” He shouted through.
“If you think I’m missing the deadline on my first essay, you’re an idiot.” I said, laughing.
“This is so annoying. I haven’t seen you for 2 days.” He reminded me. I laughed.
“Ooh. 2 whole days!” I said sarcastically. “You’ve spent the last 4 hours with me, Kris.”
“And?”
“I’ve been back 4 and a half.” I pointed out. He laughed.
“Fine! I'll find someone else there. Maybe even a girl!” He threatened.
“Good luck with that.” I said, laughing. I heard him groan and moments later the front door slammed. Finally, peace and quiet.

-

“Shh! Shh”
I heard, followed by a few small giggles. I rolled my eyes and turned my bedside lamp on. It was nearly 4am and I bet that’s Kris, Zoë and Zak just in from their night out.
“Zak – no!” Zoë whispered loudly, before laughing hysterically. I stood up and opened my door.
“How drunk are – Zak, what are you doing?!” I said, confused, before laughing. He was wearing a bra over his shirt and someone’s knickers were on his head. Good thing was, they definitely weren’t mine!
“Hey Gaby!” He said, waving. I shook my head.
“I’m going back to sleep. Can you keep the volume down?” I asked, smiling.
“I got it!” Kris said, walking into the room with a frozen, dead fish. I raised my eyebrows.
“Ok, children!” I said, looking at all of them. “Zak, take the bra and knickers off and go into your room. If you don’t go to sleep instantly I swear you’ll regret it.
Kris.. Put the fish back where you got it. Now.
Zoë – Please be quiet.” I begged. They all looked like they’re fun had been spoilt, but I didn’t care. “Now!” I snapped. Zak instantly pulled the bra off, depressingly. Kris looked sadly at the fish and then put it in the freezer. Zoë sulked off into her room.
“We were only having a laugh.” Zak said, shrugging.
“I know, but next time, please don’t do it at 4am.” I said, smiling. He nodded and walked into his room. I heard his bed springs a second later. Just me and Kris now.
“I'll see you in the morning.” I smiled at him and went to go back in my room.
“Wait.” He said, rushing down. He smiled when he got close to me and I could smell the spirits before he even reached me.
“Kris you stink.” I laughed, as he stopped next to me. “What do you want? I’m tired.” I complained.
“To say goodnight.” He said, kissing me. It really did stink, and I could actually taste the alcohol he’d drank, but it didn’t bother me too much.. At least it wasn’t a horrible bear smell.
“Goodnight.” I said, pulling away when I realised he wouldn’t. Very drunk. “Love you.” I released my arms from his.
“Love you too.” He said, walking down to his room. I smiled and closed the door behind me. I can sleep again now.

-

My eyes opened as I heard my bedroom door creak open. I waited for a second and then felt a huge thud and heard a sigh as Kris collapsed onto my bed.
“I have a headache.” He complained. I turned around and smiled.
“I’m not surprised. Do you even remember last night?” I said, laughing.
“The majority of it, yes.” He said, closing his eyes. I snuggled up against him and glanced at the clock.
“You came home 2 hours ago.” I reminded him, laughing. “So really, it’s do you even remember tonight.” I closed my eyes. “Why are you in here anyway?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“So you thought you’d wake me up?” I asked, slightly outraged.
“No. I thought I’d come steal some of your clothes. But your bed looked so comfy-”
“Speaking of clothes, and those you’ve stolen!” I started, angrily. “Where are my Prada boots?”
“You’re what?” He asked, confused.
“The boots you’ve stolen from me.” I reminded him. He laughed.
“Gaby, I haven’t stolen anything from you.”
“Borrowed then. Same thing.” I said, still pressuring him to tell me.
“I haven’t borrowed anything either. I don’t have anything that’s yours or previously was yours.” He held me lightly now. I suppose I must’ve hurt his feelings.
“Where are they then?” I sighed, before yawning.
“I don’t know. Natalie and Zoë wear boots as well.”
“Aw shoot.” I muttered. I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep.
“What are you doing today?” He asked me. I shrugged sleepily.
“Probably nothing. I'll see Lorna when she gets back.” My words were slurred with sleepiness.
“Do you want to go back to sleep?” Kris asked, laughing.
“Please.” I managed to get out, before he was silenced. I smiled and let myself drift off into dream land.

-

“It’s nearly 10.” Kris’s voice whispered in my ear. I lifted the duvet over my head and rolled over.
“And you’re not tired?” I asked, shocked.
“I haven’t been once yet.” He told me, laughing.
“What’ve you been doing then?” I said, my eyes still closed. I refuse to wake up! I want to stay sleeping in my warm comfy bed.
“I read your magazine, and the first 2 pages of your book.. It got boring.”
“Eclipse is not boring!” I snapped, “It’s my favourite of the 4 books. Apart from Jacob’s bit in the 4th one, that’s funny.”
“You do realise I didn’t understand a word of that.” He laughed.
“Sorry, I forgot you’re French when it comes to literature.”
“Which is why I took Media Studies.” He said, smiling. I rolled my eyes.
“That’s just an easy way out of work.”
“You think I don’t have any work??” He asked, laughing. “Gaby, I have a million times more than you.”
“Whatever.” I yawned.
“Get up now.” He said, pulling to duvet from over my head.
“But I’m so tired.”
“And I’m so bored, and ill.” He said, sadly.
“Hungover – actually.” I corrected him. He laughed.
“Same thing.”
I sat up and finally opened my eyes. The room was so bright. My eyes were stinging. I reached for my towel and stood up. I stretched and smiled at him.
“Shower time!” I said, skipping out of the room.
“Aw come on!” He complained, as I locked the bathroom door. He’ll have to be bored a little longer.

CONTINUED

Part Two

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself some cereal. I don’t care if I look a mess. Yes, my hair is dripping wet and I have no make up on. But no one cares here. It’s where we live, surely they expect to see this.
“Put your mask back on.” Kris said, sarcastically.
“I hate you sometimes, do you know that?” I said, narrowing my eyes. He smiled and sat on the sofa, turning the tv on.
“Zoë and Zak up yet?” I asked, looking down at their rooms.
“Not that I know.” He muttered in reply. I got some paracetemols out and 2 glasses of water. I knocked quietly on Zak’s door first, but when I got no reply I walked in and put 2 paracetemols on his bedside table, with a glass of water. He was still fast asleep. Kind of looked sweet.
I went into Zoë’s next. This time I was a lot more hesitant. Knowing her, she’ll freak out because I was in her room, rather than thank me for bringing her painkillers. I knocked and there was no reply, again. I opened the door and she was also fast asleep. She was so pretty, I hated it! I placed the glass on her table, and put the paracetemols down next to it, before I walked out slowly and quietly.
“Why do you never do that for me?” Kris asked, as I closed her door.
“Because you’re usually always already with me.” I reminded him. He nodded.
“Oh yeah.”
I laughed and flicked the kettle on.
“Tea?” I asked him. He shrugged. Natalie’s bedroom door opened at that moment and she wandered down the hall, limping. “Natalie!” I said, happily. I haven’t seen her for a few days.
“Gaby!” She replied, smiling. I gave her a puzzled look.
“Something’s not right. We’ve switched roles.” I said, referring to her leg. She laughed.
“Bit of an accident the other day.”
“Accident?” Kris asked.
“Yeah, I owe you an apology Kris.” She started. I still looked at them both confused.
“Why?” Kris asked, slowly.
“I may have accidently snapped the heels on your boots.” She said, looking at the floor. I started laughing.
“Aw, how will he ever survive?” I said, in a mimicking way.
“What?!” Kris shouted. “Bring them here, now!”
Natalie rushed to her room, still limping. I turned back around and started pouring the boiling water in the cups. I heard her coming back down the hall and heard Kris sigh with relief.
“They’re not mine.” He said, laughing.
“But they were down there, next to your jacket.” She said, confused. I turned round and nearly screamed. I felt my heart drop. My boots! I remember now. I was going to take them with me, but left them by the glass wall because I’d thought better of it and couldn’t be bothered going down to my room. No way.
“Natalie!” I shrieked, angrily. “They cost £720!” I told her, putting my arms on the counter and placing my head in them. “No, no, no, no, no..” I muttered to myself.
“What do you mean they cost £720?” She asked, slowly and very shocked.
“Didn’t you look at the make?”
“I thought they were Kris’s boots.” She reminded me. “They could’ve been from Shoe Market, and that’s not something I want to know.”
“Just have a look now, yeah?” I said, standing up straight, but still looking extremely shocked.
“Prada?” Natalie said, shocked. “You had Prada boots?”
“They weren’t just Prada boots, they were my favourite Prada boots!” I told her, upset.
“I didn’t know. I thought they were Kris’s.” She told me, apologetically. “I’m so sorry!” She was holding the heel of one in her other hand.
“It’s fine..” I muttered, sadly.
“I’m so sorry!” She said again.
“It doesn’t matter. They were just boots.” I said, shrugging. She looked at them in her hands again.
“But – Prada!”
“Yeah, I know!” I snapped. I was getting angry now. I don’t want to get angry.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. For God’s sake.” I huffed and stormed passed her, into my room. I heard Natalie’s door shut a moment later and then heard the tv in the front room get louder. This is so unfair. Why my boots? Why me??

-

My music was on full blast again. It always was when I when I was upset. It helped, I don’t know how. It’s like I was blocking out the world around me. I could feel someone else in the room with me. I think it was Kris. Probably watching me and working out how angry I was before he decided he’d stick with me for the day. I wanted to snap at him and tell him to stop being clingy, but I loved it really. I just feel like I need to argue with someone. I suddenly felt my eyes sting with tears, but I couldn’t understand why. Even though my eyes were closed, a few managed to escape. Probably my anger, and me mourning over my boots. Natalie owes me £720 now! I don’t care if she can’t afford it, they’re my boots!
Someone’s – probably Kris’s – hand started wiping a tear from my eye away. I jumped slightly at the touch, but just left it. I didn’t open my eyes. I tried to stay quiet and pretend to be asleep. Why do I feel like such a mess? I just want to go home.
I know I am at home, but it doesn’t feel like the real home.
I miss the sound of Naomi dancing to stupid music, and Mum making multiple cups of tea. I miss Harriet. I even miss Juliet and Alex who I haven’t seen since I was 15. I miss my friends, pets... I miss the sound of buses driving past my house, and planes taking off. I miss the seaside breeze and that salty smell you got on some days. I miss everything!
This is homesickness. As if it only just hit me that I was away.
I felt more tears spill from my eyes and wiped them away myself, quickly. I hate this. Why am I in this stupid mood? It’s pathetic. And I know that if I open my eyes, and look at Kris, I'll instantly be happy. He’ll take the mood away... But I’m scared – I’m scared that I'll end up getting angrier and yell at him instead. I put my hands over my face and breathed out heavily. His warm hand placed itself on top of one of mine and pulled it into his grip. I let my other hand drop and found my iPod. I turned the music off. It was so quiet without it. Sort of eerie. Kris must’ve noticed the music wasn’t on. It was so loud he should have heard it go quiet. He kissed my hand and I held his tighter.
“I love you.” He whispered, his breath tickling my fingers. I felt myself get butterflies. I wanted to smile and repeat it, but right now I couldn’t do anything. I needed him to hug me, to comfort me. I don’t even know why. Nothing had happened. I just needed cheering up. I pulled his hand, and he understood. He nudged me so I’d slide over, and then opened his arm wide so I could snuggle up into his chest. I got as close to him as possible. He kissed my head held me tight. It was what I needed. Comfort.

It felt like a few hours had passed, when in reality only 20 minutes had. I was already feeling better. My head was feeling less tangled and I wasn’t in a mood anymore. I sat up and opened my eyes. They had to adjust to the light a little, but it didn’t take long. Kris smiled uncertainly at me, and I smiled back. I kissed him softly and then pulled away.
“Are you ok?” He asked, caringly.
“I’ve been better.” I sighed, lying back against his chest. I needed to get up and go somewhere.
“What do you want to do?” Kris asked, holding me tighter. I sighed, and sat up again. He watched me stand up and put my dolly shoes on.
“I’m going for a walk.” I said, picking up my jacket from the side.
“Want me to come with you?” He said, sitting up.
“No.” I said quickly. He looked at me confused. “I just – need to clear my head.”
“What’s wrong?” He looked worried now, “Is it about the shoes?”
“That’s what started it.” I said, shrugging. “I don’t know. I’m just in one of those moods where you think too much.”
“Ok.” He said, nodding. “Do you want to take a map?” He joked. I rolled my eyes.
“I have a good memory. I'll go on a straight path.” I shrugged, picking my phone up from the side. He smiled at me.
“You are coming home, right?” He asked, sarcastically.
“Don’t worry, I shall return.” I said, smiling awkwardly before walking out of my room. I think he knew I wasn’t right. I didn’t even kiss him to say goodbye. I just left. Luckily for me no one was in the sitting room, so I just walked straight out. I glanced at my phone once I was out the main building. It’s nearly 11. That’s it. So bloody early! It was only when I received a couple of second glances that I realised I’d walked out with damp, knotty hair and no make-up. But I didn’t care. I didn’t even know where I was heading. Just – into the distance. Away from reality. That’s all I wanted...

-

If anyone walked here now, they’d think I was dead... Maybe.
I’d found the woodlands of Hollyoaks, somehow. No one even told me there was a wood here. I travelled as far into it as I thought I should, and just collapsed to the floor. I was lying on mood, sticks, stones, leaves, probably a few insects... But I didn’t even care. What is with this mood? I hate it. I just want to cheer up. I even feel like a major amount of alcohol won’t help this, now that’s saying something! I got my phone out. Half 12 already? Kris might be wondering where I was, and I don’t get a signal here. Who cares? I don’t. He can worry. I don’t even know how to get out of here. Which way did I come in? How do I know if I’m travelling further into the forest? I wandered off the path almost as soon as I came. Stupid idea. I stood up, even though I didn’t want to, and started walking. I didn’t know where I was going. I just walked. It can’t be that big here anyway. If I’m going the wrong way, then oh well. It means I can think more on the way back. I'll find the edge at some point anyway. It’s not exactly cold either. Once I was closer to the edge I got a few texts from a couple of people, which they’d obviously sent when I was in a no-signal area.

Lorna 12:08
At the service stations now. Elliot needed the internet (as they have free wifi!). He’s getting on my nerves too! Be back at 3ish. xx

I smiled and went to text back, but changed my mind. I wouldn’t know what to say, plus knowing me and my mood, I’d be rude.
The second text was from a number I didn’t even know.

07123 456 789 12:36
Hey Gabs, it’s Zak. Just wondering when you’ll be back. We’re all going for a drink later if you want to come. x


I can almost guarantee that Kris told him to send that. Along with the text he sent himself just under an hour before that.

Kris xx 11:49
So, will I be seeing you before sunrise or not? (:

I rolled my eyes and put my phone away again. I’m not texting anyone back. I'll be home soon anyway. I looked up and saw I was near a road. I don’t know what road, but it was a road. I walked along it and followed it until I saw a road sign. I wasn’t in Hollyoaks. According to the sign I was near Chester. I was heading in the right direction though. Well, so the sign said. After around 10 minutes, it said I was only half a mile from Hollyoaks. That’s good. I suppose. I’d rather be out on my own for a bit longer, but it’s already nearly 1. No matter how much he denies it, Kris will be worried. I know this because I’d be worried about him by now – if he was in the mood I was in – because I love him, and hopefully he loves me too...


CONTINUED

Part Three

“I’m back.” I called through the house, as the door slammed shut. I dumped my jacked on the side and walked straight through to my room. I left my door open and opened my laptop. I haven’t been on facebook in a while, or Twitter.
“Oh, so you decided to come home then?” Zak laughed from behind me. I turned around and rolled my eyes.
“No.” I said, sarcastically. “I’m a ghost.”
“Yeah, funny..” He said, raising one eyebrow. “Are you coming out later?” He asked, smiling at me.
“I don’t know yet.” I replied, dully. I feel so boring, it’s untrue.
“Ok.” He said, smiling. I turned away again and typed my password into my user-account. I heard him walk out of my room a few seconds later. I sat, strumming my fingernails on my desk, waiting for my laptop to load. I want to go out again. I don’t like being here, sat still... I stood up and walked round my room for a minute. I don’t think this feeling. It’s like I’m trapped somewhere I don’t want to be.
“You’re back.” Kris said, stood at my doorway.
“Yeah.” I nodded, not even smiling now. I felt like bursting into tears. I was going to if I didn’t get out of here again. “But I wish I wasn’t.” I muttered. I slammed my laptop shut again, even though I’d only just turned it on.
“Hey, hey.” Kris said, closing my door, and putting his arms around me. Big mistake. As soon as I was wrapped in his arms I burst into tears. He held me tighter and kissed my head. “What’s wrong?” He whispered, as I continued to cry. I shook my head.
“I don’t know.” I told him, still letting him hold me, but I wiped my eyes. I must look disgusting. I didn’t have any make-up on. My hair had dried a horrible mess. I was in a mood and I was crying.
“Do you want to go out? To cheer up?” He asked me. I nodded and pulled away.
“Sorry.” I said, thickly.
“Don’t apologise.” He said, kissing my head. I shrugged and continued to look away from him. I don’t want him to see how I look, even though he already has. “How about we go on that date you promised me?” He said, nudging me.
“Date?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “Can we not just call it a ‘go out’?” I said, making him laugh. “Date sounds American.” I said, shrugging.
“Want to go or not?” He asked, laughing.
“Not looking like this, I don’t.” I told him. He put an arm around me.
“When you’re ready, where do you want to go?” He asked. I shrugged.
“Just out.” I said, “Can we just go to the park or something?”
He laughed, “If that’s what you want.”
I nodded and he kissed my head.
“I'll leave you to get ready.” He said, walking out of my room.
“Thanks.” I muttered, as he closed the door behind him. I sighed and wiped my eyes. Well that was embarrassing. I sat at my desk and looked in the mirror. Urghh! My hair was huge! And my face was red and puffy – and pale as I wasn’t wearing any foundation. I picked up a brush and forced it through my knots. Once my hair was de-knotted, I turned my straighteners on and started doing make-up. Once I’d done my foundation I straightened my hair, then did eyeliner and mascara. I glanced at the clock, nearly 2. I sighed. Hopefully I'll cheer up if I’m going out. Kris is fun. Right..

“Ready?” Kris asked, interrupting my thoughts. I glanced at him. “You look better.”
“Thanks.” I muttered, just as dully. He sighed and threw me the jacket I’d dumped on the counter. I put it on and glanced in the mirror. I look half decent I suppose.
“Cheer up!” He said, irritated. I sighed and gave him a look.
“Why do you think I’m going out?” I asked, sourly. He shrugged and pushed me towards the door. “Alright! I’m going, I’m going.” I said, walking out of the door. I moved away from him and walked out the front door.
“See you later, we’ll be back... in a bit.” Kris said to Zak who was in the kitchen. I half smiled at him then walked down the stairs. Kris caught up with me faster than usual and stopped me at the bottom of the first set of stairs.
“Gaby, seriously, what’s up?” He asked, holding onto my wrist.
“I already told you! I don’t know.” I said, pulling my wrist out of his hand. He sighed and I stopped and shook my head. “I’m sorry. Maybe we should just go back.” I said, heading up the stairs.
“No. I'll deal with it.” He said, quite calmly. I shook my head.
“I'll snap at you.” I warned him.
“And I'll accept it. You’re in a mood, it’s fine.” He put a hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.
“Remember, whatever I say, I still love you, yeah?” I said, smiling properly for the first time.
“Ok, but I can’t guarantee I'll still love you if you say anything too severe.” He laughed, and walked down the stairs with me. I already felt a little happier. But the silence just left me alone with my thoughts – again.

Kris pulled me back and fell onto the grass, which sounded, to me, like it killed him but didn’t even hurt me. I laughed and rolled into his side.
“That was romantic.” I said, mockingly.
“That was painful.” He complained, hugging me back. “They make it look simple in movies.”
I laughed and kissed his neck. He squeezed me and then rolled over onto his side so he could face me.
“Hi.” I smiled at him.
“Still in a mood?” He asked, uncertainly.
“I think that – incident – fixed it.” I said, laughing. He smiled and kissed me. We were so close. I’m glad we’re in a deserted area. His arms were wrapped tight around me, and I was pushed right up against him, my arms on his chest. He continued to kiss me for a few minutes. I wanted it to last longer, but he pulled away. I sighed and raised my eyebrows.
“You’re never the one to pull away first.” I said, resting my head on his shoulder.
“I need to breath once in a while.” He laughed. I smiled.
“Don’t you have a nose?”
“As if you need to ask.” He said, as I pulled away and kissed him again. I pulled away almost straight away this time.
“Ahh, sweet revenge.” I muttered, smiling at him. He just rolled his eyes and kissed me. I kissed him back. It was nice.
I heard a wolf whistle behind us and pulled away instantly. Kris pulled his arms away from me and sat up, leaning on the front of his left arm. It was a girl, a few years younger than us. Blonde and chavvy looking.
“Aw look! The gay guy got a girlfriend.” She said, smiling. I sighed and looked away, annoyed. Why does everyone think he’s gay? Yes, the clothes and make-up might look like that, but surely if people know him they know he isn’t..
“I’m not gay..?” Kris said, confused.
“Not what our John-Paul said.” She muttered, playing with her hair.
“What?” Kris asked, looking at her puzzled.
“Well, you two were like... Bezzie mates at one point, weren’t ya?” She shrugged. “He told me that you’d gone out with some lad called Nathan, and probably more.”
I laughed and shook my head at her, more to say she’s childish rather than No. I turned round and lay back on the grass again, waiting for her to go away.
“Go away, Michaela.” Kris said, going to turn and sit down again.
“Well did you?” She asked, “I’m guessing that since you now have a girlfriend you’re bi-sexual.” She started rambling on. Did she even know what she was talking about? I know Kris pretty well now. I’m sure he’d tell me if he liked men! Why won’t she just go away?
“Why are you ignoring me? Oh my God! Have I just – ruined a moment?” She said, in fake shock. “Did she not know you were a bi or something?”
I sat up again, my eyebrows furrowed.
“She doesn’t know! Classic.” She laughed to herself. “Anyway, I gotta go. Late for a date, y’know! Later Fisher.” She said, walking off and putting her headphones in. I gave Kris a questioning look and he lay flat on his back, putting his hands over his face.
“What’s going on?” I asked him, really confused.“Who’s Nathan and John-Paul?” I asked, but he didn’t reply. “Kris, answer me.” I said, pulling his hand away from his face.
“I was going to tell you.” He said, and I felt my heart crack.
“T-tell me what?” I muttered, nervously. Any second now I’d freak out and start hyperventilating. I could feel it already.
“Didn’t you listen to anything she said? It’s all true.” He said, not looking at me in the eye. I stood up and looked uncomfortably at him. How could he do this? After all this time, after everything we’ve done and said to each other. How could he not tell me he likes men? It’s something pretty major! It’s not like he hasn’t had plenty of opportunities.
“I – err – I have to go home.” I said, shaking my head confused, before rushing off in the other direction. He didn’t even try to stop me. He had his hands over his face again and I swear I saw him shake. If I’ve made him cry, I'll hate myself forever.

-

I walked through the front door, and shut it. I felt confused with myself, my head was a mess again. Everything was tangling and getting lost. Why has today been so difficult?
“Gaby!” Lorna’s voice came from the kitchen, but I couldn’t respond. The only thing I felt like doing was walking away. I paused for a second, then walked straight through. “Gaby?” Lorna’s voice sounded confused now. “Gaby! Are you ok?” She asked, stopping me. I looked at her.
“Wha- yeah.” I said, walking down to my room. I closed my door and slid down the back of it. I don’t understand. Why would Kris not tell me something like this? It’s not even like I’m bothered anyway. Yes, it’s a bit weird thinking he likes men as well, but I don’t care. I love him now, and there’s nothing I could do about it. I just don’t understand why he didn’t tell me. It feels like my heart is physically aching. I can’t do anything. I can’t stop the feeling. It’s torture. I closed my eyes and wished. I wished for the pain to go away and to go back to an hour ago. Everything was so much better an hour ago...
“Kris hey – Kris?” Lorna’s voice sounded confused. A second later there was tapping on my door, light and subtle. I stood up and opened it straight away. I don’t want to embarrass him further by making him say what he has to through a door where anyone can listen in. He looked quite upset and like he’d ran home. I suppose I walked so slowly he’d had time to think by himself as well. I felt lifeless again, like I had all day. He walked straight in and I closed the door. I didn’t turn around. Instead I leant up against it, head first.
“Gaby, I’m sorry I never told you.” He said, rushed. I closed my eyes.
“Explain again why you never told me.” I said, turning around. “We’ve been together constantly! Why couldn’t you tell me?”
“I – I was afraid you’d react like this.” He muttered, looking at the floor.
“Like what? Hurt? Broken? In pain?” I said, angrily. I turned away before I burst into tears again. I hate this feeling.
“Are we over?” He asked, sadly. I stopped and turned around. My face looking full of sorrow rather than anger.
“No! No.” I said, walking over to him. “No.” I said again when I was stood next to him.
“Does it bother you?” He asked, still not looking at me.
“Not really.” I told him. I still couldn’t understand why he’d think I’d finish him because he’s Bi-sexual. “I just – I can’t get my head around it.” I said, pushing my hair out of my eyes.
“Around what?”
“Everything. Why you wouldn’t tell me, for starters, and now finding out.. And other things.” I muttered, shrugging. He finally looked at me.
“If you want to end it, tell me.” He said, seriously. I closed my eyes.
“Kris, you are quite honestly, the dumbest freak I know.” I said, putting my hands on his shoulders. “Did you not just listen to anything I said?”
“You might’ve been sparing my feelings.” He said, shrugging.
“You’re the same person. You’ll still be annoying and arrogant.” I told him. He smiled.
“We’re ok then?”
“We’re fine.” I said, hugging him. “But – I still feel messed up.” I told him. “I think I need to sleep it off.”
“Oh..” He muttered, “Ok.”
“I'll – see you tomorrow.” I said, as he walked out of the room. I stood in the middle awkwardly.
“Yeah, bye.” He smiled and started closing the door behind him.
“Love you!” I called, quickly. It stayed open for a second.
“Love you too.” He replied, before closing it. I flicked the light off and sat on my bed. According to the clock it was only 9. Already? Time flied... I rolled over and closed my eyes. I need to sleep. I need to forget about everything that’s happened today, and sort my head out. Today has been the worst day at Hollyoaks so far.

xxx

Lorna's POV

“Don’t leave Zo!” Zak begged. The way he said it made me feel awkward. He was making it sound as if it would be terrible if he was left here with me.
“I promised Mike” She smiled. He’s way too old for her. There’s like a 20 year difference - probably more than that! Once the age difference between couples became over 10 – like there is between me and James McAvoy – it just seems wrong. Yeah there are exceptions but still Mike is a grandparent! That word makes you think old, retired, pension – not “Oh My God! A Zimmer Frame! How sexy!” Okay, I suppose I’m over reacting. He is only like 43 or something but still them together it’s just odd!
“You have Lorna to carry you home later” She said, standing up. “Bye guys”
“Bye” Zak and I both said at the same time.
“Another drink?” I said, looking at his empty pint glass sitting on the table.
“I’ll get them” He said standing up. “Smirnoff?”
“Please” Zak walked over to the bar and left me sitting by myself. I looked around the SU, It was practically empty. It’s only like 7 and there were only like 4 groups of people dotted around the room. Elliot’s meeting thing was meant to be in here! Why isn’t he here? I pulled my phone out of my pocket – nothing. Why does he never try to talk to me? Every time I’m with him it’s just science stuff. It’s always science stuff. A few nights ago before we went up to Scotland I tried to get him to watch a DVD and he said that all of my DVDs were based on love – I’d suggested Love Actually – which was just a stupid emotion. He spent ages looking through my DVD’s to find something that he’d consider interesting. I suggested ET and he gave me a look.
“Here you go” Zak said, sitting my Smirnoff with a straw down onto the table.
“Thanks” I smiled. We both went silent. Maybe he was right trying to get Zoe not to leave us. I wasn’t really sure what to talk about with Zak. He was obsessed with Football. He’s even wearing a Liverpool FC shirt just now. How sad.
“Football or Girls?” I asked. I meant to think that not say it.
“What?” He said raising an eye brow at me.
“If you had to pick between Football and Girls what would you pick”
Silence. “Why can’t I have both?” He laughed.
“Erm” I said, trying to think of something. “You just can’t!”
“Girls” He said. “I could get them to play football” He smiled, looking pleased with his answer.
“You’re an Idiot” I laughed. He nodded along with me in agreement.
“What about you?” He said. “Football or Girls”
“Girls” I said, without giving it a single bit of thought. Zak’s eyes widened in shock. “Oh god! I didn’t mean it the way you would mean girls!” I said panicked. “I meant like girls as in friends like we’d go shopping and stuff!!”
He laughed. I could feel my cheeks burning, going red cause I was that embarrassed. Zak just sat there continuing to laugh .
“Horrors or Comedies?” I said, trying to change the subject. Quickly.
“Comedies” He said.
“Why?” I asked. “I’d say comedies too but I get scared way too easy”
“I dunno” He shrugged. “Football or Rugby?” He’d definitely say football. So obvious. I thought about it though, to be honest I’d choose neither.
“Rugby’s more fun to watch”
“What? How?” He said, getting annoyed.
“Just is” I smiled. as Zak went into the huff. Shaking his head and muttering things.
“There you are!” Elliot said, pulling out a seat and sitting down.
“Where’ve you been?”
“I went to the park” I don’t know what to say. I was like that a lot with Elliot. “With people from the group” He continued, even though neither Zak or me had shown any interest in what he was saying. “There was a sighting 9 days ago, just above the bench in the park” He was so interested in all of this stuff. “So tonight I volunteered to keep watch in the park” Zak nodded trying to act interested but it was making me laugh. “I may actually see something. This website says that sightings are usually spaced around 9 days apart”
“Really?” I said, with fake excitement. I wish I was interested in the same things as him but I’m not.
He nodded. “I may be the first person to actually interact with the aliens” I wonder how many people have said that in the world. “I better get going” He said, standing up. “I’ll be back in the morning” No way!
“Did he just come in, say that, then leave?!” I said. Zak just nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “well that was nice of him” I snapped sarcastically.
“What is wrong with football?!” Zak continued as if Elliot hadn’t interrupted.
“Footballers get paid way too much all they do is kick a ball around for 90 minutes and they get like thousands more than anyone else and why do they always have like glamour models for girlfriends and wives that are usually only with them for the money!” I stopped for breath but Zak interrupted.
“What does that have to do with the actual game?” He asked, sort of angry. Why is he getting so insulted over football! “And you can’t say that you wouldn’t say no to a footballer”
I shrugged. He was probably right. “But I don’t see why people are obsessed with the game. They kick a ball about! Anyone can do that!”
“I’d like to see you try!” He snapped and I burst out laughing.
“You are so sad!”
“You can’t say that!” He said.
“Why?”
“One tree hill came on the other day and you screamed!”
“And?” I asked. “It was a new episode” Nothing wrong with that.
“One tree hill isn’t worth screaming!” I’m insulted!
“And football is?!”
“Yes!” He said.
“As if!” I said. Both of us went silent. He just said One tree hill was crap!
Zak continued drinking his pint until he was finished. “I’m going home” He said, standing up off of his chair. “To watch Football!!” No way! I laughed. He’s so sad.
“Me too” I said calmly compared to the way he’d just spoken. “To watch One Tree Hill!” Oh god! I am just as bad as him!
“I’ll get the TV first!” He started walking away.
“It doesn’t matter!” I shouted to him. “Three Words! 4 – On – Demand!!” I’m so glad the SU bar isn’t busy .... people are staring ..... I picked up my bag and jacket and walked very quickly towards the door!

---

“Gaby!” I said as she walked into the flat in a complete daze. I was stood in the kitchen watching One Tree Hill on my laptop. Zak was lying on the couch watching football. I know, We’re pathetic!! He still hasn’t spoken to me! But anytime I turn my laptop volume up the volume of the TV gets turned up! I ended up having to go get my speakers! One Tree Hill is not crap!
“Gaby?” Is she okay? She just continued walking down the corridor completely ignoring me. I stood up off of the stool in the kitchen and followed her down the corridor and grabbed her wrist. “Gaby! Are you okay?” She turned round to face me.
“Wha- yeah” She said, continuing to walk down into her room. Still in a daze. I wonder what’s wrong. I’m not sure if I should go down and ask but what could it be? She was out with Kris. Oh no! What’s happened? What if she’s preg- I’m over reacting again.
“What was that all about?” Zak said, sitting up off of the couch. I shrugged.
“Kris!” I said as he walked through the door. He did continued walking, not even stopping to look at me. “Hey! Kris!” I said, as he walked down the corridor just the way Gaby had done. He tapped lightly on Gaby’s door. Something’s up! I really want to know what!!

Lorna's POV (Extra Bit)

----

“We came back way too early” I sighed, looking up at the clock. It was 9.15. The football had finished, one tree hill was over and Me and Zak were bored.
“Yup” he nodded. “Where’s Natalie?”
I shrugged. Where is she? I haven’t seen her all day. I jumped as Zak’s phone bleeped he took it from his pocket and smiled.
“She just answered my question” He smiled while texting her back. “Coming to the loft?”
I shook my head. “I want to know what’s going on with Stubborn and Stubborner”
“Dork and Dorkier is so much bet”
“I know!” I moaned not letting him finish.
“See you later then” He said lifting up his jacket and leaving the flat. If I just go down to Gaby’s room just now she’ll know I’m just being nosey. What could I say? I could take a dvd? Food? But then how would I manage to get into a conversation about her and Kris? Hmmm ...
I walked over to the freezer and lifted out a tub of Cadburys flake ice cream - that Gaby had bought the other day - got two spoons and headed down the corridor. I just opened Gaby’s door slightly. The curtains were closed. Lights were out and she was under the covers. Asleep. There goes that plan! I crossed over the corridor and chapped on Kris’s door and got a very quick reply.
“Not Gaby” I said “Sorry”
His head sank and he walked back over and fell onto his bed picking back up his laptop.
“I brought ice cream” I said handing a spoon to him.
“Thanks” He said as his spoon dove into the ice cream the second I’d got the lid off.
“What you doing?” I asked when he closed down his laptop lid.
“Nothing” He said.
“Obviously not nothing!” I said. He could at least make up some excuse.
“Where’s Elliot?” He said changing subject. What was he doing?!
“In the park hunting Aliens”
“Zak?”
“Zak’s at the loft with Natalie. Zoe’s with Mike. Gaby’s asleep and I’m in here with you eating her ice cream!” The minute i said eating her ice cream he stopped.
“I’m in enough trouble” Would it be inappropriate to ask why? “I should’ve told her” He muttered. Lifting the tub of Ice cream out of my hands and sticking the lid back on. Evil!
“Told her what?” I asked while my last mouthful melted away. “What happened?”
He looked at me in thought. What was he thinking about?
“’I’m bisexual” He said. I looked at him expecting more. I nodded at him to continue. He shook his head. “That’s it”
“What happened?” I asked, confused. Surely that doesn’t make a difference to Gaby. She loves him.
“Gaby’s mad at me because I never told her”
“Who did?”
“Michaela McQueen” He snapped.
“Who?” I asked.
“Chavvy cow He snapped.
“What did Gaby say?”
“That she loves me and that she doesn’t care she just wishes I’d told her instead of some person she doesn’t even know” He went silent after he finished. “Will you talk to her for me?”
“And say what?”
“Find out what she really thinks”
“Kris she’s not going to tell me anything different to what she’s told you” I said.
“She will”
“I doubt it but if you want I’ll talk to her tomorrow” I said. “I’ll say nothing about talking to you tonight and if she asks Elliot ate her ice cream” I picked up the tub and started stood up off of Kris’s bed. “Which I’ll go put back in the freezer where I found it”
“Night” He laughed.
“Night” I said walking out of his room closing the door quietly not to wake Gaby.

Gaby's POV

My bedroom door clicked shut and I sat up quickly. I’d been awake nearly half an hour now – thinking. I have a feeling I should stop doing that. I seem to get the wires in my brain to tangle and eventually become such a huge knot it’s impossible to undo. That’s how I felt right now. A tangled knot.
I could’ve sworn I never heard my bedroom door open, but as I looked to see what had caused the noise, I saw Lorna walking slowly towards my bed. Hair sticking in all directions, pyjamas still on, and make-up less.
“Are you ok?” She asked, unsure as to how I was feeling. Or maybe she knew I was in pain but thought she’d act dumb anyway. I shrugged and pulled my knees up to my chest.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She tilted her head to the side as I nodded. I closed my eyes for a second, making sure I wouldn’t cry, before I went to explain everything to her.
“Everything’s just gone from bad to worse.” I sighed, feeling the tears sting my eyes.
“Don’t cry.” She said, quickly putting her arm around me. I pulled out of her grip and wiped my eyes before it would get nay worse. “Start from the beginning.”
“Well, when we went to your house, Natalie decided to borrow my boots, and snapped the heel. –”
“-I’m sure it was an accident.” Lorna cut in. I paused for a second and gave her an unimpressed look.
“They were my favourite boots. Prada boots that cost £720.” I said, harshly. Lorna’s eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly. “That’s what started this ‘mood.’ I don’t know why. I just ran into my room and thought too much. Way too much.”
I looked at the floor for a second as the memory of last night seeped through the cracks in my tangled knot, making it tighter and even harder to fix this emotion.
“So, I went on a long walk to clear my head. It did more damage than any good. When I came back, Kris took me out to cheer me up. It worked – it really did. But then… Michaela.” I spat her name out like she was the most foul thing on Earth. Right now, she was – to me.
“What happened?” Lorna asked, a confused look on her face.
“She was making fun of Kris, calling him gay? You know, that sort of stuff. Then she mentions how her brother knew about Kris going out with Nathan. I didn’t believe her at first. She looked about 16, maybe 17, so I left it at that. But then she started getting excited, thinking she’d ruined our moment. I was confused at first and looked at both of them to understand what it was. She said Kris must be ‘Bi’ now, then left.” I paused as the tears slipped out once again.
“And?” Lorna pressed on.
“And I asked Kris what that was all about, and he told me he is Bi, and that she was telling the truth.” I said. It hurt even more saying it out loud. Lorna looked at me, completely shocked.
“He never told you?” She asked. I think she found this more unbelievable than I did.
“No.” I said.
“Did you break up with him?”
“No. I can’t.” I told her, “I love him, no matter what. I wouldn’t care if he suddenly turned into a spider, I’d still love him… It just hurts so much. I don’t know why he wouldn’t tell me any of this himself. I don’t know why I had to find out from that stupid Michaela!” I was crying harder now. Lorna was just trying to comfort me. I don’t think she understood how I was feeling right now.
“What are you going to do?” She asked me.
“I’ve been thinking that myself.” I said, wiping my eyes. She waited for me to finish. “I think I’m going to go home for a few days, maybe a week. Just until I’m less of a mess.”
“But it’s the start of term!” She objected.
“I know, which means I won’t be missing much. I have to, plus I haven’t got any lectures for 4 days anyway. I'll probably be back by then.”
“You can’t go.” She complained, “Who am I going to nag about Elliot to?”
“Natalie?”
“She likes him too much. You hate him! You’re easy to nag to! You agree with me!” She was obviously trying to convince me to stay. It wasn’t working.
“I have to go.” I said, “But I will be back.”
“How do I know that?”
“Come with me, just to make sure.” I said, smiling. She thought about it for a second.
“Really?”
“If you want to.” My voice sounded so dull I wasn’t sure she’d know I was being serious. However, when she smiled her huge banana smile, I was sure she’d understood that I actually wanted her to come with me.
“Great! When shall we go? I have my car but the Dean asked me to take it home. Elliot ratted on me.” She paused, “How about I take you to Blackpool, go back to Aly’s, leave my car and stay overnight, then get the train to Blackpool in the morning?”
“And we’ll get the train back here in a few days?”
“Sure.” She said, smiling.
“Ok.” I said, shrugging.
“When shall we go then?” She asked, a huge smile on her face.
“Whenever. There’s not point in making a specific plan.”
She bounced happily out of my room.
“Cool! See you later then.” She said, jumping out of my door. I tried to look happy about it – and I was happy about it. But it was so damn hard! I stood up and yawned, just as my stomach growled. Breakfast time.

I stopped once my door shut behind me. Kris was sat at the counter in the kitchen, bent over his laptop in concentration. I sucked in a deep breath and walked down the corridor. I haven’t got a clue what to say to him. I can’t ignore him, I don’t want to hurt him like he’s hurt me. I love him too much, and I thought he loved me. If he felt what I felt now, it would kill him. He’s weaker than I am.
I don’t know what to say!
Then I realised none of my thoughts even mattered. I was thinking so hard about what to say to him that I walked right past him and was already putting bread in the toaster. I shook my head, confused, and turned around. He was watching me, I assumed he would be.
“Oh –” I started, my voice sounding blank, lifeless, dead… “Hi.” I said, looking around confused and then turned back towards the cupboards. I got a glass out and filled it with water.
“Are you okay?” He asked, but he sounded a million miles away. If it wasn’t for the soft touch on my shoulder a moment later, I wouldn’t have replied. It felt like the question wasn’t directed at me. I looked at him for a moment, puzzled. The question hadn’t registered in my brain.
“Wh-I-Yeah.” I stuttered, huskily. I cleared my throat and drank some of my water. He was giving me a look; it was almost sympathetic.
“Do you want me to go?” He asked, gesturing towards his bedroom. I looked at him.
“No.” I said quickly, holding his arm. “I’m sorry.” I muttered. He gave me a confused look this time.
“Have you been crying?” He asked, placing a finger under my, probably, puffy eye. I nodded as he opened his arms to give me a hug. I leaned up against his chest and closed my eyes. Closed my eyes and thought; and then the pain returned. That horrible pain in my chest like my heart was being clawed at by cats or even tigers. I had to just get away from him. I started to pull away as the toaster popped and we both jumped. I instantly went to butter it, placed them on a plate and walked down to my room without a backward glance.
Why has life been so hard the last couple of days?

_

I pulled the first bag I found out of my wardrobe and started stuffing clothes into it. I didn’t even know what I was bringing. I was just packing anything, even though there was no reason to rush. Lorna might still be a while. I needed a shower anyway. But I still stop packing. I put a few pairs of shoes in, my book, phone charger… Laptop? Where’s my laptop? I turned around and ran my hand through my hair when my door opened. I glanced over, slightly stressed. It was Kris.
“You’re leaving?” He asked, worried. He glanced at my bag and at how stressed I looked. I looked into his eyes and saw a reflection of the pain I felt. It made me cry. I burst into tears, hysterical tears. He closed the door and rushed over to me, putting an arm around me.
“I can’t handle this, Kris.” I told him, wiping my eyes.
“So you feel you have to leave?” He held me tighter as he said the last word.
“Just a few days.” I said quietly, “I have to.” I added, when he looked upset. I wiped my eyes again and he kissed my head.
“You’ll be back, right?”
“Lorna’s already coming with me to make sure I do.” I said, smiling slightly. I don’t like him seeing me like this.
“Good.” He said, as I pulled away. The pain was too much. “Do you want help packing?”
“I actually think it would be better if you left…” I muttered, “I don’t want you to, but it’d help.” I said, looking at the floor.
“Will I see you before you go?” He asked, I looked at the floor and shrugged. He just nodded. “See you in a few days then.”
He walked slowly out of my room, obviously trying to spend as much time with me as possible, or rather, trying to torture me as much as possible. Every second he was with me felt like I was being stabbed a thousand times in my heart. All because he never told me. Why didn’t he tell me?
The door finally closed and the tears began to stop leaking from my eyes.

-

“Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s gooooo!” Lorna jumped into my room, a smile on her face. I glanced at her, expressionless. Her smile dropped and she sighed. “Ready to go?” She asked, disappointed.
“Sure.” I muttered, picking up my bag and walking down the corridor. My hair was still wet from my shower – I couldn’t be bothered drying it.
“Do you want a hand?” Kris asked from one of the sofas. I just walked straight past and out the front door. I couldn’t handle the pain at the moment.
“Maybe you shouldn’t.” I heard Lorna say quietly in reply.
“Have fun.” He replied with a sigh. I waited at the top of the stairs for Lorna. She struggled out with 3 bags, dumped two of them, closed the door, then followed me down the stairs.
“Where’s your car?” I asked her. I tried to make it sound cheerful… It didn’t work. It came out just as dull as ever.
“One of the first parked outside the front.” She told me, smiling. I could tell she was regretting the journey already. I must sound so boring to her. We walked in silence to a white, 1996, Volkswagen golf. It looked a bit cheap, but I didn’t care. I suppose because I can afford more expensive cars I feel everyone else should. Stupid really.
“D’you want to put your stuff in the boot?” Lorna asked, as I walked past and opened the passenger door. I closed it again with a sigh and held my bag out to her. She took it and placed it in the back before walking around the car and going into the drivers side. I got into the car and shut the door behind me. She put a cd into the ancient player and then started driving.
“You know the way, right?” She asked, glancing at me. “I forgot a map..”
“I know the way.” I reassure her, as we started driving towards the motorway.

Lorna's POV

21 minutes we’ve been in the car. No words have been spoken. From the minute the car started moving Gaby had sat twisted toward the window doing nothing other than breathing and blinking. The whole atmosphere in the car was so awkward. I keep humming along with the CD player – Ultimate Boyband CD, How cool am I? - But I feel like I should be completely silent and it’s my car!
“I Spy with my little eye something beginning with C”
“Cars” Gaby said straight away still not moving her gaze away from the window.
“Okay, that was obvious. It’s your turn” I said.
“Something beginning with R?” She muttered really not interested.
“Radio?” I asked. She shook her head still not looking away from the window. Of course it won’t be something in the car.
“Road?” I asked. She nodded. “Well that games boring” I said. She didn’t even respond. I need to stop her thinking! She looks so ... I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t think running away from Kris is the best thing for her to do just now but I don’t want her going and not coming back.
“Can you pass me my iPod cable out of the box thingy please?”
“Glove Compartment?” She smiled slightly.
“I’m crap with cars!!”
“The glove compartment is common knowledge!”
“Whatever!” I laughed. “Do you want to plug your iPod in?”
I asked as she handed me the cable. She shook her head.
“Can you pass me my bag over from the backseat please?” I asked. “And then get my iPod out please” She turned and grabbed my bag and pulled it through between the front 2 seats and sat it on her laptop, undid the zip and stuck her hand in my bag bringing my iPod out and handing it to me. I pressed down on the breaks as we sat at a traffic jam. I plugged my iPod into the cigarette lighter thingy and selected an album. If she doesn’t cheer up I’ll worry. I eased off of the break and pressed down on the accelerator as the traffic started moving again. The music started and I started singing instantly.
“Uh Oh, Uh Oh, Hey, Hey” I sang loudly and off tune. “Join in!!”
“I said Hey boy sitting your tree – GABY!!!” I shouted. Not even a smile! “I will sing this REPETITIVELY till you join in!”

“Welcome to Blackpool” Eventually.
“”For the 22nd time!” I said, taking in a breath before ... “Say you will, say you won’t, say you’ll do what I don’t, say your true, say to me C’EST LA VIE”
“Do you ever give up?” Gaby asked.
“Nope” I smiled. “Most people would usually give in though!”
“Take a right up here” Gaby said. I flicked the indicator and turned the corner.
“Next left” I kept travelling the route she said and eventually we were on her street.
“Here!” Gaby said, as a drew onto the kerb outside the house. “Thanks” Gaby muttered getting out the car and getting her bags out of the boot. I got out of the car and gave her a hug.
“You’re boring but i love you!” I laughed. She smiled.
“Text me when you get close to the station tomorrow” Gaby said. “I might come and get you”
I laughed. “I’ll get lost. You know I will”
Gaby nodded. “See you tomorrow. Tell Alyson I say Hi”
“I will” I said getting back into the car. “Bye!” I started the car and pulled out of the space onto the road waving at Gaby stood on the pavement, still looking as if she could burst into tears at any moment. I hate seeing her like this!
Another 3 hours singing and I’m home! Didn’t take as long as I thought it would and was probably the last time I’ll drive my car for like another fill in here weeks till Christmas. I parked the car on the driveway at the front of the house and got my stuff. Claire was here already. I’d phoned her from the service station (badly needed the loo) saying that I was home for a night so she said she’d be over. She’ll probably stay over too. I climbed out of the car and walked round to the boot and got my three bags out and walked towards the door and straight in.
“I’m home!!” I shouted from the front door. I walked further in to the hall and dumped my bags down in the hall and then went into the living room. “Missed me much?” I smiled. I’ve missed them both loads!
“Lorna!” Aly said jumping up off of the couch and grab me in for a hug. “I’ve missed you so much!!”
“Me too” Claire said grabbing me once Alyson had let me go. “Why are you only back for one night?”
“I’m going to Blackpool tomorrow. Gaby and Kris have fallen out because he didn’t tell her he was bi and Gaby’s hurt that he had to find out from this Chav so she’s going home to Blackpool for a few days and the dean had told me to take my car home since Elliot told on me so i decided I’d come up here to drop of my car and I’d go down to Blackpool tomorrow to make sure Gaby comes back to halls” I said.
“Here we go again!” Claire said.
“Gaby this, Kris that, Elliot did this” Alyson sighed. “I thought you were coming back for my party”
“Sorry I don’t mean it!” I said. “And party?!”
“I posted it on facebook!” She smiled.
“Aly you don’t post parties on facebook!! That’s how thousands of people end up at parties!!”
“It was a mail to my friends. You can calm down!” She said.
“What’s it for?”
“Halloween!”
“Isn't that next week?”
“Yes but I’m having the party now” She smiled. “It’s a costume party!”
“Oh My God!” I said, as I went to sit down before Alyson grabbed my wrist and pulled me back up to standing up straight. She’s already moved the couch!
“What are you two weari-“
“Sexy Nurse” Alyson smiled. Predictable.
“Claire?”
“Hula Girl”
“What am I going to wear?”
“Don’t worry” Alyson smiled. WORRIED! “I got you this amazing Cow Girl outfit”
“Lemme see it!”
“Okay” Alyson said running through into the spare room and raking through the wardrobe. She came back through carrying a hanger with a tight pink top and a tiny denim skirt and I mean tiny!! The whole outfit was complete with this huge cowboy hat!
“I can’t wear that!”
“You can and you will” Alyson said. “I need you to help! I was so glad when Claire said you were coming up!”
I wish I wasn’t here!
“We need to go get ready!” Alyson said.
“But I’ve just got here” I sighed.
“But the party starts in an hour!” Alyson pulled me up of the chair and thrust the outfit into my hand. “Go!”
I grabbed the outfit out of hers and stormed through into my room. I don’t believe she’s having a party. I can’t be bothered with this!

An hour later and I was sitting in my old room looking out the window waiting on people to arrive. I hate this. I feel like an idiot. I thought we have a sleepover or something like last time I was home not a Halloween party! When Alyson throws parties they are MASSIVE and the mess the day after ... She does realise I’m not staying to help out! My trains at half 10 which means I can’t get too drunk either or I’ll spend my train journey completely hung over tomorrow and I really doubt that’d be fun. I sighed as another few cars came into the garden. Suppose I better go and act happy to see them ... I stood up and looked in the mirror. I look like a complete tart. My top is extremely low and my skirt is extremely high. I made a last minute attempt to pull my skirt down slightly before leaving my room.
“Lorna!” Aly pounced on me as soon as I left my room. “I need you to help Pablo with the drinks”
“Okay” I said, marching into the kitchen at least this way my legs were covered by the table and I was away from the blaring speakers in the living room.
“Lorna!” Pablo said grabbing my wrist and turning me round for a hug. He smelt so good!
“Pablo!” I smiled. I could feel my cheeks burning red! Pablo is Spanish, very tanned and VERY muscley! I don’t know what he is meant to be dressed up as but I liked it. He wasn’t wearing a top at all so all I have to look at all night is his bare chest and his gorgeous brown eyes! I don’t really like brown eyes but his were so dark! They were like chocolate! Tonight may not be so bad after all.

--


I ran my hand through my hair as I sat up my head pounding.
Oh.My.God.
Puddles of sick. Broken Glass. Bottles. Cups. Crisps all over the floor. Spilt juice – well alcohol – on the floor!
God if my mum saw this she’d be hyperventilating! I looked at myself in the reflection of mirrored back wall of mum’s cabinet. Make Up has gone everywhere! And oh god the sick might’ve been mine! I rubbed my mouth with my hand this is disgusting. I was in the living room. Spread out across the floor. Pablo was looking pretty fit sprawled across one couch with Aly and Claire sharing another. There were so many people here last night and I swear I haven’t been asleep long. I looked at the time on the clock. I have an hour till I need to leave. I stood up off of the couch and my foot actually squelched on the floor. It was so sticky! I walked through to my room with a hand on my aching head! I opened my bedroom door and walked in. People were in here last night!! I picked up my bags and headed into the bathroom, turning on the shower.

It felt so good to be clean. I zipped up my bags and carried them back through into the hall. I sat them down by the door and headed back into the living room. I took my phone out of the drawer as well as my iPod.

2 new messages

Gaby (20.02) What time are you getting the train tomorrow?
Adam (23.28) Your tits look well nice in that top babe

EWWWW!!! Oh my god!! I don’t even remember much from last night. I remember doing drinks with Pablo to start with then NOTHING else. I must’ve been so drunk. I walked through into the cupboard in the middle of the hall and stretched up. Paraceitamol! I grabbed the box down and popped out 8 tablets. I better leave some sitting for the others. I went into the kitchen got 4 cups and got water for each of us. I left the cups and pills sitting on the table in the hall. I scribbled Bye onto the phone pad. Aly’ll be mad that I’ve not woken her but she’ll be mad if I wake her as well. So I can’t win! I took the paraceitamol and picked my bags up off of the floor. I’ll need to walk to the bus! I walked out of the house, locking the door behind me.

At the station. Train’s at half 10 I sent to Gaby and made my way over to the small shop. I picked up some chewing gum, a bag of crisps, a bottle of cola and a couple of magazines.
“That’ll be 8.92” The women said. I went into my purse and gave her a tenner. She handed me back the change and I made my way on to Platform 3 for the train to Preston. The train was in already so I climbed on and took a seat next to the window and sat my bags between my legs on the floor. I took heat out and started to flick through it.

“The next stop is Preston where this train will terminate” The women said over the speaker. “Switch here for trains to Blackpool South” And that’s where I’m going!

Gaby's POV

At the station. Train’s at half 10

I closed my phone and sighed. 3 hours until Lorna gets here and I have nothing to do. I don’t even know if I want her to be here. I don’t even know if I want anyone to be here. I’d promised Becka we’d go somewhere with her, but now I’m not so sure.
Naomi burst through my door.
“Red or Yellow?” She asked, holding up beaded necklaces. I just shrugged. She rolled her eyes and walked out. Yesterday, she was ecstatic about me being at home, now I’m not so sure. I don’t blame her to be honest. I feel like such a bore. My Mum wasn’t chuffed to see me. She expected me to stay in Hollyoaks for at least the first term before a visit. I suppose she doesn’t want me missing out on education, but I explained that I didn’t have any lectures for days anyway and she didn’t seem bothered after that. Neither of them could explain my “mood”. I hadn’t told them anything. When they asked, I said I was fine. I am fine! In a very non-fine way…

My phone buzzed again. I looked around and picked it up from my desk.

Becka (09:54) : We’re doing something today, right? I want to see you! Meet me in town at 12ish? Or we could go to the pleasure beach? Or even the beach? Pleeaassseee?

I didn’t bother replying. I’d ask Lorna when she finally got here. I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes. Thinking was a bad thing to do right now, but I still did it. I over thought. My heart seemed to snap because I’d thought so much. It couldn’t take it anymore. I had to just end this feeling but how?!
“Want some breakfast?” My Mum called through the door.
“Er, no thanks.” I muttered, trying to sound like I actually thought about it. She muttered something un-audible and then I heard the kitchen door close.

*

I waited on the platform for the train. I’d rang Lorna about half an hour ago (when she was still at Preston) and told her to get off at the Squires Gate stop. It’s closer to my house. Within walking distance, actually. I stood up as the train appeared in the distance. It stopped and Lorna stepped off, all 3 bags going at different angles. I rushed forwards and took 2 off her. Only so she could get off the train before it started driving away.
“Thanks.” She said, as the train drove away, her and the bags all safely on the platform. A few people rushed passed us and up the stairs to the main road.
“You got everything?” I asked, and her smile dropped. She must’ve just realised my mood hasn’t changed.
“Good. Let’s go.” I said, walking up to the slope. It would be easier for Lorna, even if it did take longer. I took one of her bags, I should really be polite – even if I do feel dreadful at the moment.
“You ok?” She asked, cheerfully.
“Fine.” I told her, “Do you want to do something today? My friend Becka wanted us t-”
“-yes.” She interrupted. Maybe my voice was so dull she didn’t want to here it anymore. Perfect!
“Ok. I'll text her later.” I said, as we got to the top of the slope and started heading down the hill towards my house. We walked in silence except for Lorna’s small outburst about knowing where she was. Once we got to my house, we headed up the stairs and dumped her bags in my room.
“Mum!” I shouted.
“Yeah?” She replied, from the lounge. I walked through with Lorna.
“Mum – Lorna. Lorna – Mum…” I muttered, introducing them both. Lorna smiled nervously and waved, my Mum just said it was a pleasure having her here. I waited until there was an awkward silence before leading Lorna back through to my room and lying on my bed.
“Stop thinking! You act worse when you’re thinking!” She snapped, slapping my hand.
“Ouch.” I said, with no emotion. I could feel my hand turning red and Lorna gasped.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to do it so hard.”
She must’ve left a handprint. I sighed and looked out of my window.
“Ring your friend.” She suggested. I nodded and got my phone out. I hesitated for a moment, before texting Becka. “Aren’t you ringing?”
“If I ring she’ll think something’s seriously wrong.” I told Lorna, finishing the text and sending it. Lorna gave me a wary look. “What?” I asked, pushing my hair out of my eyes.
“Want to go for a walk?”
“No.” I said, “But I will.” I sighed and stood up. She smiled and took a small bag out of one of her bigger bags. She put her phone in it then walked towards my door.
“Where can we go?” She asked.
“Anywhere.” I muttered, following her out the house.
“Ok!” She said, cheerfully, before walking in the direction of town. I’m not sure she knew it was the direction of town, but that’s where I wanted to go anyway, so it’s fine.

-

“We could go up the tower?” Becka suggested, Lorna stopped dead and shook her head. I gave her a confused look.
“I have an Extreme fear of heights” She said, then shaking like she’d just relived a bad memory in her head.
“Piers?” Becka asked, looking mainly at me. I just shrugged.
“She’s the tourist.” I said, gesturing to Lorna. She looked a bit miffed about how I’d called her ‘She’ but it doesn’t matter now. She’ll be ok.
“What do you want to do?” Becka asked Lorna, smiling. Lorna just shrugged.
“Anything. Just not heights.”
“What about rides?” She asked.
“Rides are ok.” Lorna replied.
“Pleasure beach it is.” I muttered, heading in that direction.

Lorna's POV

“You have to go on the Big One” Gaby snapped as I gazed up at the Pepsi Max in terror. She was getting annoyed at how much of a wimp I was being but how can so many people be queuing to go on that! It’s just way to high up in the air! It’s hurting my neck to look up at it! “You can’t come to Blackpool and not go on the big one!”
“What’s the Big One?” I asked, It doesn’t sound good but I don’t want to be the party pooper. The first year I went to Alton Towers with the school I wrecked everyone else’s time by standing at the bottom and holding everyone else’s things but the second year I went on more things and I loved it. I didn’t feel like I was up high when they were going so fast.
“The big one” Becka laughed sarcastically pointing up at the Pepsi Max.
“Oh!” I said. “I thought it was called the Pepsi Max”
“No!” Gaby snapped. “It was called the big one for years before it was ever the Pepsi max. Just because one day someone decided to get Pepsi to sponsor it doesn’t change its name!”
“Sorry” I said sarcastically. Why did she shout at me for that?! I’m the tourist remember!
“So ...” Becka said trying to change the subject. “Are you going on?”
I nodded.
“Woo” Becka said grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the queue. “Gaby!”
“Coming” She muttered as she walked along behind us dragging her feet as she walked.
“How long are we gonna be waiting?” I asked, not looking at Gaby or Becka. My eyes were fixated at the top of the drop. Listening to the screams of the people as the coaster went down the drop. There were signs dotting around the place saying “The highest rolling coaster in Europe!” I can do this ...

An hour had past but it felt like minutes. We would definitely be on the next train thingy. We had decided Gaby and me would sit together and Becka would sit in the row either in front or behind.
“How many in your group?” The man said who was pointing out the rows to people.
“3” Becka smiled happily. I was actually shaking.
“2 in row 3 and 1 in row 4” The man smiled before turning and saying single rider to someone else who worked on the rollercoaster.
I walked towards our seats by myself shaking. My stomach was so tight. I felt like I was going to be sick
“What side do you want to sit at?” Gaby said.
I shrugged quickly. “Either. I just want the ride to be over” I said in one breath.
“You’ll be fine!” She said.
“Are you sure?”
“Lorna! We’ve been on this ride loads!” She said, gesturing at Becka.
“And we’re still alive to go on it again!” Becka smiled.
The carriages pulled up and the people who’d been on it before us climbed off.
“See. They’re okay” Becka smiled. I just nodded to scared to say anything else. The barriers in front of us opened and we took our seats. The minute Gaby’s bum touched the seat I pulled the bar down on top of us.
“Calm down!” Gaby laughed. “It doesn’t need to be that tight!”
“It does!”
“It doesn’t go upside down!” Gaby laughed. “It doesn’t go that fast!”
“I swear I think i’m going to be sick!”
“You’re really are going to fine!”
“I’m not!” I said. My eyes welling up. The bar wasn’t making me feel safe. I had nothing to cling on to! The roller coaster started off and I grabbed Gaby’s hand making her laugh! A smile finally!

The roller coaster began to climb and I felt myself slide back into the seat. I held my breath and closed my eyes.
“Open your eyes!” Gaby said, squeezing my hand. “You’ll be fine I promise!” I opened one eye slowly and Gaby laughed. She’s so brave. How can she been watching me?!
“This is it Lorna!” Gaby said sticking one of her hands up in the air. She pulled my hand up to and I used my other hand to hold onto the bar. I was holding on so tightly. I felt like my hand was going to explode. The clicking of the climb was echoing round my ears. I just want it to be over. Now.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

--
“Bye” I waved so did Gaby as Becka ran off into her house while me and Gaby continued to walk back to Gaby’s. I had actually had fun today. I have no voice left from screaming – and I’m sure I’ve probably made Gaby and Becka deaf – but it was fun! Gaby had cheered up slightly because she’d spent the day laughing at how much of a wimp I am rather than thinking about Kris which was good but I’m scared now that cause it’s back to just the two of us she’ll start thinking again! My stomach rumbled and I smiled.
“We’re stopping at McDonalds on the way back” Gaby laughed.
“Milkshake!” I smiled. Gaby smiled too. “I’ve not checked my phone all day!” I blurted out as soon as I realised.
“You got that from milkshake?” Gaby asked in confusion. I shrugged. I got my phone out of my pocket and slid it up. “5 new messages” I read out happily. My eyes scrolled down the phone. Aly. Aly. Aly. Claire. Kris. I opened the one from Kris first desperate to see what it said.
How is she today? K I don’t get that when people sign text messages! Phones know who it’s from.
Still a bit up- I stopped and deleted. I can’t say that, can I? Gaby should speak to Kris herself. I shouldn’t be texting Kris giving him an hourly update of what Gaby’s doing – that’s what stuff like twitters for not me! – they should talk to each other. It’s obvious they both really want to speak to each other! I can see that and I’m hardly the most observant person ever.
“Who are they from?” Gaby said trying to start up a conversation. I am so rude!
“Sorry” I said. “3 from Aly, 1 from Claire and 1 from –“ I stopped. Should I tell her about Kris? I drew in breath. “Kris”
“What does it say?” She said quickly stopping in the middle of the pavement and looking at me.
“He’s asking how you are”
“Great” She said sarcastically. “He’s scared to talk to me”
“No he’s not!” I said.
“Oh Come on!” Gaby said getting her phone out of her pocket immediately. She started walking again as she checked her phone. “Why hasn’t he texted me then?”
I honestly don’t know what to say. I can’t exactly just stop talking! “He doesn’t want” I stopped again. It’s so obvious I’m making this up on the spot. “to text you being all nice when you’re upset with him?” I said, questioning my own answer.
“I love him” She said. What can I say?
“He loves you too”
“Really?” Gaby snapped. “If he loved me why wouldn’t he tell me?”
“I don’t know” I answered truthfully. “But Gaby he’s obviously been thinking about you!” I said looking at my phone which vibrated exactly when I looked at it.
“Earlier today, yes!” Gaby said. “He’s sent one text, so he was thinking about me for 5 minutes!”
“Lorna, Are you ignoring me? Has Gaby told you not to reply? Have you told Gaby I texted? Text back!” I read out from my phone. “Really?” I asked, responding to her last comment.
She looked at me and smiled slightly before hiding her smile quickly. “Tell him I’m Okay”
I clicked on reply on my phone and typed in Gaby’s good. “That okay?” I showed Gaby the text waiting on her approval. She nodded. I sent the message and read the other texts quickly. They were just messages saying how they were mad at me for not saying bye and not tidying up. I could reply to them later. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and looked up.
“McDonalds!” I said, happily. Gaby nodded with a smile on her face obviously thinking about Kris. AGAIN!

Numero 2

“I feel sick!” I said as I slumped down onto the chair in Gaby’s bedroom.
“No wonder. A strawberry milkshake, a Crunchie McFlurry, then a muffin and another milkshake! And you had a happy meal before all that”
“I haven’t been to McDonalds in ages!” I said defensively. Not that that was a very good excuse for my greediness.
“So you had to catch up on all the other times?” Gaby laughed.
“Well!” I started. “You can’t go to McDonalds without getting a McFlurry! McDonalds have almost the best muffins EVER! And well for the milkshakes that’s just me!”
Gaby laughed and me again rolling her eyes!
“What should we do?” Gaby asked.
“Whatever. I don’t mind” I smiled.
“You’re the guest!” Gaby said.
“Yes so I’ll do as I’m told”
“Freak!” Gaby said. I jerked up as something squeaked from the other side of the room.
“What –“ I stopped. “was that?”
“Rosie” Gaby smiled, getting up off of her bed and walking over to the direction the squeak came from.
“Awwww!” I cooed. “She’s so cute! I love guinea pigs!”
“Did you have one?” Gaby asked, as she lifted Rosie out of her cage. She moved back onto her bed and sat Rosie on her lap and began stroking her. I moved off of the chair and climbed onto the bed next to her and started clapping Rosie.
“Yeah, we’ve had 4 guinea pigs” I stopped. “I have really bad luck with pets”
Gaby raised an eyebrow at me to get me to explain.
“Well” I stopped and drew in breath. “This will take a while by the way. When I was around 8 years old I had 2 guinea pigs called Scary and Baby this was back in the Spice girl days obviously” I paused. “They stayed outside in their hutch and I loved them to pieces there were really friendly and every morning before school I went out and fed them then one morning I went out to feed them and they were gone! My Mum and Dad told me they’d ran away but then I was arguing with my sister ages after that and she said that they’d been eaten by a fox! And she was right!” I stopped. “Then a few years after that I got Penny and Patch”
“Our cats called Patch!”
“You have a cat!”
Gaby nodded. “You’ll see her later”
“Ooh” I smiled. “Is she friendly?”
“Well she’ll sit with me for hours” Gaby said. “Go on with your story” She said as she continued to stroke Rosie.
“Well we got Penny and Patch and after last times disaster we kept these 2 in the garage”
“Why didn’t you get to keep them in your room?”
“My mum had really bad hay fever”
“Oh. You may continue” She smiled.
“Well a few weeks after we got them I got up and went to see them one morning and Patch was dead”
“Aww”
“My mum took them to the vet and the vet said she’d had some disease since before we’d gotten her and they pet shop should have told us that.” I sighed. “Then we had Penny for another few years until my mum noticed she was limping. So mum took Penny to the vets and she had cancer in her back leg. So the vet gave us tablets. I don’t remember what they were for but Penny became weaker and weaker. So one morning mum took me to school and said she was taking Penny to the vets so I spent the whole day at school worrying about her and I told Claire and Claire kept telling me that it’d be fine but she wasn’t.” I sighed. “Mum got given the choice of having her leg amputated or putting her down and well you know the rest!” I stopped myself from saying it.
“Poor Penny” Gaby said still stroking Rosie.
“I know” I sighed. “And after penny we got a hamster called Sooty and he died of a brain tumour”
Gaby gasped. “I didn’t know hamsters could get them”
I nodded. “Then we had Biscuit and he had a heart attack!”
Gaby stopped and looked at me. “As if! You are making this up!”
“I’m not I promise!!” I said.
Gaby looked at me and tried not to laugh.
“How long have you had Rosie for?”
Gaby shrugged. “I’m not sure. She was Juliet’s before she was mine”
“Juliet?” I asked.
“My sister” She smiled.
“How many sister’s do you have?”
“3 sisters and 1 brother” She said as I started clapping Rosie. “They’re all older than me except Naomi” She said as if she read my mind. “Harriet. Juliet and Alex”
“That was creepy!”
“I’m psychic” She smiled. I gave her a look.
“Wh-“
“Harriet lives with her husband still in Blackpool and I haven’t spoken to Juliet or Alex in ages”
“Oh” I said. “Are you close to Naomi and Harriet?”
She nodded. “Sometimes”
“Sorry! I’m so nosey!” I laughed, realising that I’d just sat and kept asking Gaby questions.
“It’s okay” Gaby smiled, lifting Rosie up off of the bed and sticking her back in the cage.
“She’s so cute!”
“You’ve said!”
“Sorry! What do you want to do?”
“You’re the guest!”
“We had this conversation like 5 minutes ago!”
“Well decide what you want to do!”
“What do you want to do?!” I snapped but not nastily.
“You’re the guest!!!!!” Gaby said, getting annoyed now.
“Do you want to watch a DVD?” I asked. “I brought some with me!”
“Which ones?” Gaby asked as I climbed over her back and walked over to my bag.
“Mostly Disney ones” I laughed.
“Which ones?” Gaby said sounding more enthuastic.
“Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Lady and the Tramp, Mulan and Tarzan” I said as I lifted them out of my bag and threw them onto Gaby’s bed. “ And there’s more”
“Tarzan’s crap!” She snapped.
“Is not!” I said defensively.
“Is too!”
“Not!”
“Too!”
“Stop!” I laughed. “I love it!”
“I don’t!”
“Well we don’t need to watch it then!” I laughed but Gaby just gave me a look. “You can pick!”
“Lady and the Tramp!” Gaby said, getting up off of the bed and switching on her TV.

----

“Lorna!” I rolled over on the pull out bed and grunted. I don’t want to get up!
“LORNA!” Gaby said even louder. “Lorna if you don’t get up now I’ll ...”
“You’ll what?” I muttered grumpily
“I’ll hurt your bear!” She said, I felt her lift it off of my bed and heard her shake it.
“You would not!” I said, sitting straight up off of the bed.
“Well no, I wouldn’t but I knew that would make you get up!”
I nodded in agreement. “How long have you been up for?” I said while I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
“About 10 minutes” She said looking at the clock. “You’re phone went off and woke me up!”
“Sorry!” I said shuffling to the side of the bed and picking it up off of the floor. I looked at the text message it was from Kris asking if we were going home today. “Are we going home today?”
“Nope” Gaby said. “Becka’s sleeping over tonight”
“Ooh” I said. “What are we doing till then?”
“Well, It’s up to you?”
“I don’t know” I shrugged. “Don’t say but you’re the tourist! Or guest! Whatever!”
“Shopping?”
“Okay” I smiled. I could do with some new jeans, and shoes! “Is there a River Island in Blackpool?”
“Yeah” Gaby said, getting up out of bed and sitting beside her bag. “Do you want to go for a shower first or after me?”
“I don’t know!”
Gaby rolled her eyes at me. “I’ll go first since you don’t need to straighten your hair!”
“Okay!” I said.
“You can watch TV while I’m in the shower if you want”
“Okay” I said crawling across the floor and switching on the TV. Friends. That’ll do.

----

“I love these shoes!” I said, picking up a gorgeous pair of red heels in River Island.
“Lorna you’d never be able to walk in them!” Gaby said. She’s probably right but they’re so shiny! “And look at the price!”
“I have money!” I moaned. She can’t talk me out of them! “Ohhh!” I said getting excited and walking over and picking up a small bag that matched the shoes perfectly. “There’s a bag!” I said hugging it. Gaby rolled her eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes at me!! Wait till we go to HMV! I go hyper the minute I step in the door!” Gaby laughed and walked off across the shops to the jeans while I stared at the shoes. I put the shoe back down on the shelf, sighed and walked over towards Gaby.
“Gaby that tops so pretty!” I said, as I saw Gaby looking through a rack of green tops trying to find her size. She just smiled as she pulled out the tshirt in her size.
“I’m going to try it on” She said, walking towards the changing rooms.
“Wait on me!” I grabbed the first thing I could see in my size and followed her.
“And you did that because?”
“So I had something to do while you tried the top on” I smiled.
“Freak”
“Oh Well” I smiled as I followed her in.
“How many bits have you got?” The shop assistant asked.
“One” Gaby said. She got handed a yellow disc thing before she walked into the changing room. I did the same and then walked into the changing room right next to hers. I sat my bag down on the floor. Slipped my feet out of my shoes and took my trousers off before slipping into the new pair of jeans. I actually really like them! I’m going to get them! I didn’t even look at them properly before I came in.
“Gaby?”
“Whatty?”
“Let me see your top?”
“No!” She sort of snapped.
“Aww! Why?”
“Just no!” She snapped. I heard the door of her changing room open and then slam shut again. Maybe the top didn’t fit. I hate it when that happens. I unbuttoned the jeans and slid them off. Stuck my own jeans back on, then my shoes, grabbed my back and headed out of the changing room. Once I was out of the changing room bit I saw Gaby trying on a pair of gold dolly shoes. They were really pretty.
“I’m going to pay for these” I said. “You getting the shoes?”
“Yeah” She said, putting her own shoes back on. I walked over to the cash desk and got out my purse. I took out my bank card and river island loyalty card and handed them to the guy. I hate these pin machines. I can never remember what pin number goes with which card. It’s confusing. I put in the right pin number and the man handed m e my jeans in a blue bag. Gaby had been standing behind me in the queue so got served at the same time as me.
“Which shop next?” I asked as we walked out of River Island.
“New Look?” I nodded.
---

3

About 3 hours later we back at Gaby’s house. By the time we’d finished I’d got a top, a jacket and shoes to go with my new jeans and a couple of new DVD’s. Gaby had got a new outfit to match her new shoes too.
“You have a piano!” I said, as I sat my shopping bags down on the floor.
“You slept in here last night! How can you just be noticing it?!” Gaby laughed.
I shrugged. “Are you good at it?”
“I’m okay. I did lessons for years”
“Play something!” I said.
“What do you want me to play?”
“What can you play?”
“Stuff”
“You don’t say” I laughed. Gaby walked over to the piano and sat down in front of it. She hit a random note and then started to play.
“Oh my god!” I laughed.
“What?” Gaby said innocently knowing exactly what I was meaning.
“You’re playing Bella’s Lullaby!”
“Well done” Gaby said. “Right, guess this one” Gaby started to play and I went quiet to listen.
“Making my way down town walking –“I started to sing before Gaby stopped playing and gave me a look. “Sorry” I said elongating the word. “A thousand miles”
Gaby smiled. Then started to play another tune.
“LOVE STORY!” I said a bit too quickly. Gaby turned round on the chair and gave me a look. “Well I needed to say it or I’d sing again!”
“This one?” Gaby asked starting to play another tune.
“I hate this part!” I said after she’d played like 5 notes.
“How’d you –“ Gaby started to say.
“I can play it!” I said excitedly. “Well the very start bit thanks to You tube”
“What about this one?”
“Erm!” I said, listening to Gaby play. I know the tune!! What is it? “Head under water and you tell me to breathe easy for a while! What on earth is this song!”
Gaby laughed at me and continued to play. “I don’t know! Oh wait ... LOVE SONG!”
“Well done” Gaby said, stopping playing instantly and clapping her hands as if I was a little kid doing something for the first time.
“When’s Becka coming over?” I asked randomly.
“Now” Becka said making me jump. Gaby burst out laughing as she’d obviously saw her come through the door.
“You’re all dressed up!” I said as I looked at her wearing a blue dress – which was very short – with black tights on below it and high silver heels.
“Well yeah” Becka said, confused. “We’re going out, right?”
“No” Gaby said.
“Gaby!” Becka said, shocked.
“I wanna go out!” I said.
“Well on you go!” Gaby said. She stood up and moved away from her piano and sitting on her bed.
“We are! And you’re coming” Becka said, going into Gaby’s wardrobe and throwing clothes onto her bed.
“I am not” Gaby said, picking the clothes up from her bed.
“Now go put them on” Becka said.
“No” Gaby said.
“Gaby, Why not?”
“I don’t want to”
“You’re coming!” Becka said, grabbing Gaby’s shoulders and pushing her out of her bedroom and towards the bathroom.
“No!” Gaby snapped but Becka was stronger and got her into the bathroom. Two seconds later Becka was back in Gaby’s room.
“I don’t have anything to wear!” I sighed. Becka went into Gaby’s drawer and threw me out a long black top from Gaby’s drawer and a pair of blue tights.

3 hours later we were ready and in a club. Gaby and Becka argued loads while we were getting ready. Gaby refused to do her hair or put on make-up so Becka did it for her but we eventually got her to leave the house. I hadn’t actually seen Becka since we came into the club. She asked us about drinks and then disappeared. Gaby eventually gave up and went and got us some saying Becka would be off with someone already.
“Gaby! Talk!” I moaned as she sat there watching everyone else dancing. She didn’t even move. She probably couldn’t even hear me. It is so loud in here. I can feel the vibrations from the speakers moving through me.
“Gaby!” I said, waving my hand in front of her eyes.
“What?” She said snapping out of her daze. “Do you need another drink?” She said looking at me drink.
“Don’t worry about your drinks. I’ll get them” A guy said as he stood in front of where me and Gaby were sitting. He was tall with brown hair and blue eyes. Perfect!
“Sure?” I asked, looking right into his gorgeous eyes.
“I’m hardly going to miss the opportunity to buy you two gorgeous girls a drink!” He said. “What would you like?”
“A Smirnoff ice please” I smiled.
“Malibu and coke” Gaby snapped at the guy and he looked taken a back but still went over to get our drinks.
“Why did you snap at him?” I asked.
“He’s a sleaze!” She said. “He was looking down your top the whole time he was speaking to us!” She snapped. “And haven’t you forgotten about someone!”
“Who?” I asked confused.
“Your dork!”
“Yeah” I sighed. “The dork who hasn’t phoned or texted me and I’ve been away for like 3 nights now!”
“Here you go girls” The guy said, sitting our drinks down in front of us.
“That’s the wrong way round!” Gaby said, giving me a look telling me he didn’t care. I know he doesn’t but I’m bored and want a bit of fun.
“So what does god name angels like you two these days?” The guy asked, sitting down next to me and taking a sip of his pint. Gaby laughed at his very very bad chat up line.
“I’m Lorna” I stopped waiting on Gaby to say her own name but she wasn’t having it. “She’s Gaby”
“Lorna. That’s a pretty name.” The liar.
“Oh what’s your name?” I said, realising I didn’t even know it.
“Marc” He said. “So do you girls stay in Blackpool? Or are you just here for-“
“We stay in Hollyoaks”
“Where’s that?” He asked. Gaby laughed at him at him again. She was being so rude. No wonder he doesn’t know. It’s hardly on all the maps.
“Near Chester” I said. “What about you? Do you stay here?”
“Yeah” He said. “I work at a pub, couple of streets away. First night off in proper ages”
I don’t even know what to say. I sort of went silent.
“So how come you’re here then if you live in holoaks”
“Hollyoaks” Gaby said speaking to him as if he was thick – although I’m not saying he isn’t.
“Whatever mate”
“I’m not your mate!” Gaby snapped. “We’re not interested!” She said to him pausing between each word.
“Laura is” He said. “Aren’t you babe!”
“Lor-na!” I snapped.
“Right” He smiled.
“Just go!” I said, waving at him. He gave me a look and wandered back over to his mates that were all much better looking than him.

“Alright girls” I looked over at the guy who was speaking to us. Gaby sighed and stood up and went to walk away. “Where you off to babe?”
“Babe?” Gaby asked in a snide way.
“Well you haven’t told me your name yet!” He smiled.
“Yeah” Gaby said. “I’m not going to” I bit my lip to stop myself laughing at the look on the guys face. “Okay. Be that way” He said and sat down next to me. “Alright” Gaby just laughed and continued to walk.
“Gaby!” I shouted and stood up off of the seat and went off after her. “Gaby!”
“I’m going home”
“You can’t leave me!” I said. “I don’t know where I am!”
“Find Becka!” Gaby said, carrying on walking.
“How am I meant to find her in here?!” I said. She can’t leave!
“You’ll find her!” Gaby said.
“I won’t” I said.
“You will!” Gaby said. “Just stay and have fun!”
“Why won’t you stay?”
“I –“ She stopped. “I don’t feel well” She said. It was so obvious she was lying.
“Fine” I said.
“Phone me if you get lost though. Yeah?”
I nodded and stopped as Gaby continued to walk and left me stood there in the middle of a club.

Gaby's POV | Part One


I ditched Lorna. I’m a bad bad bad bad friend. I lied and ditched my friend in a town she doesn’t even know. I said she’d find Becka – lie number 1. She’ll never find Becka in the biggest night club in Europe. I told her I felt ill – lie number 2. I felt very well. Just… Hurt. Hurting all over. I shouldn’t have let my mind go back to all of those stupid things. But the silence dragged on today in town and I thought too much. Thinking is the worst thing in the world. There should be a law against it.
I walked through my front door almost 2 hours after leaving the club. I’d walked home… and taken the longest route possible. Usually I’d have been scared out of my mind, but tonight I was thinking too much to care. People whistled as I walked down the road in the worlds shortest skirt – I scowled. People winked at me and called me “Babe” and “Gorgeous” – I told them where to go. People touched me and tried to lure me back to their flat or hotel – I pushed them away and gave them the finger.
Not once did I feel frightened. I don’t even know why. I should have. Any of those men could have raped me or hurt me or forced me to go somewhere I didn’t want to. Why wasn’t I scared?
I ran up my stairs and into my bedroom.
“Gabrielle F****** Lawson, where the hell have you been?!” Becka screamed as I walked into my room. I raised my eyebrows before closing the door behind me.
“I have a little sister, Rebecca.” I reminded her. She folded her arms, waiting.
“We tried to call you.” Lorna said quietly.
“About 50 times.” Becka added. I shrugged.
“I didn’t take my phone with me.” I told them both.
“You left the club 2 hours ago! We left 5 minutes after you! Where did you go?” Becka had obviously freaked out. That was a first. Becka usually just lived life how it came. She’d make jokes about things. No one’s joking now.
“I’m sorry.” I told them both, but my voice didn’t show my apology. It was blank, cold, emotionless, impassive…
“Where were you?” Lorna asked, keeping her voice down unlike Becka.
“Walking.”
“You didn’t walk back..?” Becka gave me a questioning look. I shrugged. “Gaby! You could’ve been-”
“Look! I’m alive, aren’t I?!” I shouted at her. She silenced herself and nodded.
“Good job you are.” Lorna muttered, “Kris would have killed me if something had happened.”
I glared at her. Of all the things to have mentioned.
“Kris?” Becka asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Her-” Lorna started.
“Don’t. Just don’t.” I said, feeling the tears spring to my eyes. I turned away and opened the door, heading for the bathroom. I locked the door and stood over the sink for a few minutes, waiting for the tears to settle. Then I washed my face so it was harder to see that the redness was actually from crying, not from scrubbing. There was a silent tapping on the door just as I was drying my face.
“Gaby? Are you crying? I didn’t mean to upset you. I was worried. Gabs?” Becka was pushing down on the door handle. I unlocked the door.
“I’m not crying.” I told her straight away. She walked in and shook her head.
“You’ve always been the worst liar.”
As soon as she said that more tears sprang to my eyes. Stupid emotions! What’s going on with them recently?! I’m happy one minute, angry the next, sad the next… It’s annoying.
“What’s up Gabs? Did something happen? Did anyone do anything when you were walking back?”
“No. No.” I said, reassuring her before she started thinking I was raped or something. “I’m just… Tired.” I lied again, but because I was wiping my eyes at the time I don’t think she could tell.
“It is nearly 4.” She said, laughing. “I can’t believe I left the club early to just end up worrying!”
“How did Lorna find you?” I asked, confused.
“She went to the toilets and I just happened to be in there too. Lucky really.” She said, smiling. I nodded. It was like my mouth didn’t know how to smile anymore. I headed back through to my room and sat on my bed. Rosie started squeaking.
“Shut up!” I sighed. Lorna stood up and fed her to shut her up. “Thanks.” I muttered.
“Washing my face.” Becka said, smiling and dashing out of the room. Lorna ran over to me and sat on the edge of my bed.
“Gaby… Don’t kill me.” She muttered. I shook my head.
“What’ve you done?” I asked, not really wanting to know.
“I may have told Kris that you’d left and hadn’t come home yet…” She said quietly. I sat up.
“What?!” I flopped back. “Why did you do that?!”
“It slipped out.” She said.
“Of your fingers?!” I questioned her. She shrugged.
“He wanted to know how you were, I told him the truth.”
“What if he’s on a train coming down here now?” I asked her, angrily.
“I’ve told him you’re here now.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, I thought it’d make you happy to see how much he cares about you! Bloody look!” She shoved the phone under my nose. I looked at her, shocked. She seemed awfully snappy. I glanced at the phone to see what it said.
Lorna, you better be joking. If anything happens to her… I can’t even think about it. Make sure she’s okay Lorna! Find her. I love her too much to let anything happen to her. Just find her.
I gave the phone back to Lorna.
“Was that meant to make me feel all light and fuzzy inside? Because it didn’t work.” I said, turning around and going to sleep.
“Gaby! Will you cheer up! I’m sick of this mood! You have no excuse for it anymore! Kris didn’t tell you he was bisexual - big deal! Maybe it’s because he didn’t feel anything for men now that he’s with you because he loves YOU and only YOU! Maybe he isn’t anymore! You’ve said yourself you don’t even care so cheer up! I’m really not enjoying my time here.” She walked out of my room and a few minutes later I heard her talking to Becka. I hate this. I hate everything. It’s not like I can control this. Why doesn’t she understand? Why does nobody understand?

-

“Cheer up. Please.” Becka said, hugging me again. “Next time I see you, you’ll be smiling. Right?” She asked, looking uncertainly at me.
“Maybe.” I shrugged. Lorna was leaning against the wall, waiting for me to finish saying goodbye to Becka. I wasn’t talking to her. She wasn’t talking to me. The only thing she’d said to me this morning was ‘I’m leaving today, with you or without you. Either way, I don’t care.’
“Okay. Well, see you at Christmas? Maybe. Or Easter? But if not then Summer! But that’s too long! I will see you sooner.” She was talking to herself now.
“Becka.” I rolled my eyes. “I'll see you soon.” I muttered, smiling at her.
“Byyeeeee!” She called, rushing in through her front door. I put on the best fake smile I could and then when the door closed I sighed and let it drop. I glanced at Lorna but she still wasn’t looking at me. I started walking back and she followed.
“You need to go back.” She told me, quietly catching up to me.
“We are.” I told her, turning the corner onto the main road.
“Today, I mean.” Lorna said, still not looking at me.
“What’s the rush?” I asked, slowing my pace.
“Gaby, you’ve had too much time to yourself.” She said, and I gave her a questioning look. She glanced at me for the first time when she saw me looking. “You left because you needed space. You had too much space and now you miss Kris so much you feel empty. If you don’t see him soon…” She let the sentence trail.
“I don’t miss him.” I lied. She rolled her eyes.
“I’m fed up with all you’re pathetic lies. You’re not good at lying so stop trying to do it!” She snapped angrily.
“Fine Lorna! Just fine! I'll go back today if you’ll stop shouting at me! It doesn’t make any of this easier!” I said through gritted teeth. Angry tears burned in my eyes. She didn’t apologise or even look slightly sorry that she’d upset me. She just continued to walk beside me.
I sighed and walked slightly faster.

-

“How come I haven’t met any of your siblings?” Lorna asked when we went back into my room.
“I told Naomi not to annoy us.” I said, “And Harriet lives about half an hour away.” I told her.
“You have more, don’t you?” She asked, I nodded.
“Juliet and Alex.” I said, “I haven’t seen Juliet for 4 years, and I haven’t spoken to her for 2. Alex… he left a while ago.” I told her, looking away. “I also have 2 half sisters but they live down south.”
“Right.” She said, putting clothes into her bag. Silence again. I wasn’t sure I could take this. Lorna was the only one I thought would never care about me being in a mood… She always seems the one to be polite no matter what. Maybe I have crossed the line this time.

-

The train pulled to a stop in Chester station. That was the worst journey of my entire life. 2 hours felt like 2 years because of the silence. Lorna listened to her iPod, I read my book. When I spoke to ask her anything, she merely shrugged rather than speaking. If she ever said something to me, usually my mind was elsewhere so I didn’t reply.
“Do you know what bus to get?” Lorna asked me as I got my case and stepped off the platform. I felt ridiculous. I didn’t have any make-up on. I hadn’t washed my hair this morning. And I was wearing clothes I’d bought 4 years ago that were too big for me. I glanced at Lorna.
“No, but we can find out.” I said dryly. She sighed, obviously thinking I’d have cheered up by now.
Half an hour later we were walking into Halls. Lorna found it difficult walking up the stairs with 3 bags, so I ended up rushing ahead of her. I felt oddly… nervous. My insides were tingling and my stomach was filled with butterflies. Once I got to the top of the stairs, my heart started racing. I could see our flat. I walked towards it and dropped my case on the floor. I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them again I just wanted to snap them shut. Standing at the other end of the corridor was Kris, talking to someone in a doorway. I stared at him in disbelief. My mind started racing, my heart started thumping louder than should be classed ‘normal’. And then he turned to look at me. I couldn’t help it. Seeing the smile on his face. Seeing him. I smiled. No, I beamed! It was my first true smile in almost a week. He said something quickly to whoever he was talking to, but didn’t stop looking at me… Then he was walking towards me. It would only take him a few seconds to get to me, but I couldn’t wait. I dropped the small bag I was still holding and rushed towards him – leaping into his open arms. My legs stuck out like I was kneeling on an invisible wall whilst my arms clung around his neck. He laughed quietly and kissed my neck. I held onto him. I held onto him as tight as I possibly could, never wanting to let go. My legs slowly dropped to the floor so he wasn’t supporting my weight anymore, and I pulled back to kiss him. It was when our lips met that I truly felt pure happiness. After a few seconds he pulled me back into a hug a breathed out heavily. I pulled away but gripped hold of his hand. I’m not letting him out of my sight. Lorna was stood at the end of the corridor, a cold look on her face. Her eyes were narrowed and she was giving me a furious look.
Once me and Kris made it inside, Lorna stormed down to her room and slammed the door loudly. I sighed. Kris picked my case up easily with one hand and walked in.
“I’m sorry about the last-” I had to think. “-week? However long it was! I was absolutely awful.” I said rushed. He just smiled and kissed me again. It made me feel more at ease, I suppose. I couldn’t understand anymore why I felt so… empty just a few minutes ago. Lorna was right. I did have too much space. I did miss Kris. I missed him so much I didn’t even know I missed him.
“I love you.” He whispered in my ear, kissing my neck.
“You better!” I said, laughing. I pulled away from him. “I need a shower… And better clothes!”
“Yeah, what happened to you?” He asked, laughing at my outfit, greasy hair, and make-up-less face.
“Turns out Naomi had stolen almost every item of clothing I’d left at home… Apart from these. And this morning there was no hot water.” I said, pointing to my hair. It was the truth, and he knew it.
“Well, I need to get to my lecture anyway.”
I felt my face drop, but I tried to hide the fact I was a bit disappointed.
“When will you be back?” I asked quickly. Too quickly! My face suddenly felt very hot.
“Half 10.” He said, kissing my cheek. I forgot me and Lorna got a very very early train this morning… it feels much later.
“Bye.” I sighed and held onto his hand until only the tips of our fingers were touching, and then I walked slowly towards the bathroom…

Part Two

-

“Hey Gaby!” Zak said from behind me. I turned around, so quickly that my soaking wet hair flew up and hit him in the face. He closed his eyes and took a step back.
“Oops! Sorry.” I said, handing him a tissue. He smiled.
“How are you?” He asked, wiping his now wet face.
“I actually feel a little sick – motion sick which is a bit strange…” I muttered. He raised his eyebrows.
“You travelled back today though, so you could just feel ill from the train ride.” He said, smiling.
“But that was 4 hours ago now.” I said, shrugging. “Ah well.” I said, “How are you?”
“Tired.” He laughed, heading round the counter and putting bread in the toaster.
“But you only just got up!” I said, shocked.
“Still, I’m sleepy…”
“Well, some of us have been up since 6am this morning.” I said quietly.
“I didn’t get to sleep till late.” He defended himself, with a smile.
“I got to sleep at 4.” I said, giving him a matter-of-fact look. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something and then thought better of it.
“You win.” He muttered after a minutes silence. I smiled proudly.
“Right, I’m going out.” I said, jumping up.
“Where?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Anywhere. I feel sick still. I think I just need fresh air.” I smiled at him and skipped out of the front door. I walked back in about 2 seconds later. He gave me a questioning look.
“If you see Lorna, will you tell her to come meet me? And to ring me to find out where I am. And that I’m sorry.” I said. He gave me a look then nodded once.
“Right…”
“Cheeerrrsss!” I said happily, running out the door and down the stairs. I was only halfway down the first staircase when hands wrapped around my waist and carried me down the last few. I screamed at first, as it made me jump, but then laughed when I realised who it was.
“Hi there.” I smiled and kissed him.
“Where are you off to?” Kris winked, before walking down the stairs with me. His arm wrapped firmly around my waist.
“I needed some air. I feel sick.” I said, making a weird ‘blergh’ noise at the end of it.
“What’s up?” He asked, looking concerned now. I just smiled.
“I just feel a little queasy. I'll be fine soon.” I said, “Nothing can get rid of my good mood.” I beamed at him and we walked out of the building.
“Where to madam?” He asked, holding his hand out like he was giving me the option.
“Surprise me.” I said, getting closer to him and kissing him softly on the lips. I looked into his eyes and he stared into mine. I removed my hands from his shoulders and he smiled, taking my hand in his and pulling me in the direction of the village.

-

“Feeling better?” Kris asked, as I sat on his knees. We were on the swing in the park, seeing as it was a very nice day.
“Definitely.” I said, smiling and leaning back against his chest. I didn’t really. I still felt sick. But there wasn’t any point in it ruining this lovely day. He kissed the top of my head and I sighed.
“Do you have to go?” He asked, understanding my sigh. I nodded.
“I have an essay to start.” I told him.
“Can’t you stay a little longer?”
“I’ve already stayed too long.” I said sadly. He kissed my head again.
“Let’s go then.” He said, putting his hands on my waist and lifting me slightly. I stood up and he steered me towards the exit. I laughed and then stopped. I glanced around the park – no one seemed to be in sight…
“Gaby?-”
I turned around and he raised his eyebrows. I smiled and kissed him slowly, softly…
“I love you.” I said, holding onto his hand and walking out of the park.
“I know…?” He muttered, slightly confused.
“Well, I’ve been a bit off the last few days…” I shrugged. “I suppose I’m still apologising for it.”
“You’re so-” He paused, and then laughed instead. “I love you too.” He finally said, kissing my cheek and walking with me.
“Do you?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. Kris paused.
“Are you doubting the fact I love you?” He asked, his eyebrows getting closer together in confusion. I shrugged.
“I don’t know. I know how I feel, but you don’t tend to share your feelings. So I just thought I’d ask…” I trailed off. “Never mind.” I said, shrugging. “You say you love me, and because I love you, I trust your word.” I said, smiling at him. He stopped, still holding my hand in his, but using his other hand to cup my face.
“You want me to explain exactly how I feel about you?” He asked, no hint of humour in his voice. I nodded. My voice box didn’t seem to be working.
“Okay, how to put this..” He thought for a moment, looking at the floor, but never letting go of my face. “The way I feel for you is… like the way a leaf feels on a tree.” He paused to take in my expression. I couldn’t help but smile softly. His mouth twitched. “Without a leaf, the tree looks dead, alone, cold… But with the leaf, it’s alive and happy and warm. It needs the leaf to…” He stopped, not being able to finish what he was saying. I waited whilst he gazed at the tree next to us, and then he looked into my eyes and smiled. “I would say you’re my leaf, but I don’t think that was a very good explanation.”
“You’re calling me a leaf?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“No. Hang on. Give me a minute to think of how to explain this.” He said, smiling. I lifted my hand up and placed it on the back of his, which was still on my face. He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips, and then he dropped his hand. Mine followed his.
“You know how we can’t live without oxygen?” He paused, “And fish can’t live without water? And the Earth can’t survive without the sun?”
He waited for me to say something. I managed to nod, very slightly. He smiled and then he touched my face again, running his finger along my cheek bone under my left eye.
“That’s how I feel about you.” He muttered. “I can’t live without you.”
“But-” I stopped what I was going to say and bit my lip. Saying that could hurt his feelings and he could take it the wrong way.
“What?” He asked, kissing my forehead. I looked up into his eyes.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but isn’t that a bit of an overstatement? You can’t live without me? We’ve only known each other…” I thought and was about to say how long when he interrupted.
“Time doesn’t matter.” He frowned.
“But you can’t live without me?” I emphasised the word live as much as I possibly could. He smiled and shook his head.
“What else would you like me to say? You asked me to tell you how I felt and I did.”
“Explain it in a way I'll understand, please.” I said, my eyebrows creasing together. I could feel the wrinkles on my forehead but for some reason my face wouldn’t relax. He started walking, pulling my hand so I’d walk next to him.

“Why don’t you explain to me how you feel?” He asked, amused. I sighed.
“But you know how I feel.” I told him, shaking my head.
“I know you love me. Which is what you know about me.” He said, smiling.
“Okay, fine.” I said, smiling. It took me a few seconds to think of how to put it. I sighed and started.
“I feel like you and I are… connected – sort of. Like I am you, and you are me, and we are each other.” I turned to look at him, but he was gazing at the floor, confused. I walked past the exit of the park and towards the lake. We were talking too much to go home now.
“I feel like there isn’t a me without a you, and that somehow my heart doesn’t belong to me anymore. I’ve let you have it, along with my soul and body.”
I felt my face flush red, and continued to look away from him, never meeting his gaze.
“I’m not going to compare our relationship to objects - or people for that matter – because I don’t feel I need to. I love you, and it’s the only thing I’m certain of right now.” I said, looking at where my feet were going and that only. Until they were suddenly forced to stop and twisted around to face Kris. I glanced shyly into his eyes and as soon as they met he kissed me with such a sudden urge I was too shocked to respond at first. Our hands linked together at our sides and I truly felt love. So much love…
“I wish I could’ve thought of a way to say ‘I love you’ in my own way. I’m obviously not as creative as you.” He said, smiling.
“Okay.” I stopped, and narrowed my eyes at him. “Firstly, that wasn’t me being creative. I was telling the truth! And Secondly, are you saying I just embarrassed myself for - no - reason?” I asked, my teeth gritting together.
“Calm down.” He said, laughing. “I didn’t say it wasn’t the truth and why are you embarrassed?” He asked, kissing my hot cheek.
I waited for him to say something else, but he was obviously waiting for me to explain my embarrassment.
“I just spilled my heart out to you, Kris. I haven’t explained my feelings for anything like that since I was 12 and writing my diary.” I said, eyes still narrowed.
“Gaby.” He said, laughing. My face was in his hand again. “Trust me, I feel exactly the same.” He smiled mockingly
My eyes were now staring into his angrily. He flinched away.
“Okay, so maybe I’d try not to explain it so… so Hollywood-romance-movie-cheesy-ish. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same.” He rushed to explain, when I took my hand out of his, hurt. He smiled timidly at me.
“I don’t understand.” I muttered, gazing away from him. My eyes felt distant. I wonder if he noticed that. I was trying to understand if he felt the same as I do. Can he feel as strongly as I do? I think I’ve grown too attached to Kris in such a short space of time.
“I love you, Gaby. Isn’t that easy enough to understand?” He asked, pulling my face around to face him. His eyes stared into mine, completely serious.
“I suppose.” I shrugged. He kissed me again then. “Still not happy about the whole spilling my heart out thing though.” I said, when we broke apart. He just smiled.
“I am.” He said, as we walked again. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him. “What?” He asked, smiling innocently, “At least now I understand the way you feel. You feel how I feel. Isn’t that good?” He asked, unsure.
“It’s perfect.” I told him, “I just – I wish it wasn’t me who had to get embarrassed.” I said, looking at the floor again.
“I still don’t understand why you’re embarrassed. It’s me!” He laughed. “And I’ve just said I feel the same.” He added onto the end. “I thought you loved me.” He said, mockingly. I moved closer to him, to hit him over the head or something. But his hands held my wrists tight in place and he kissed my cheek again.
“Relax.” He whispered.
“I am relaxed.” I said, sounding completely stressed. I snapped my teeth together and looked away from him, towards the lake.
“Gaby, I was only joking.” He said, “It was – nice to hear how you feel about me.” He smiled shyly. “But still, you shouldn’t be embarrassed. You know I'll always love you, no matter what you say. And this!” He paused, to give me a disapproving smile. “Honestly Gaby! You think this is something to have been embarrassed about? It wasn’t something I didn’t want to here and it wasn’t anything I didn’t feel myself.”
“Okay, can we just stop talking about it now? You’re making me feel much worse.” I said, swinging my arms backwards so he could no longer hold onto my wrists.
“You’re not going all moody on me again, are you? I don’t think Lorna would be very happy…”
I sighed and shook my head. No matter how stressed I felt, I wouldn’t let what happened in the last week happen again. Ever. He smiled.
“Good.” He finally, said. “So, I was thinking-”
My phone started ringing. I gave Kris an apologetic look as I answered it.

“Hello?” I asked, realising I didn’t look at the Caller ID.
“So, if what Zak says is right, you’re no longer moody. Correct?” Lorna’s voice answered straight away.
“Correct.” I said, nodding once and walking slowly away from Kris without even thinking.
“And you’re not going to bite my head of if I say something you dislike. Correct?”
“Correct.” I nodded again, even though she couldn’t see.
“And if I happened to walk up to you with a machine gun, you wouldn’t beg me not to shoot you. Correct?”
I paused.
“Err..”
“Correct?” She pressed on.
“Okay, if I say correct does that mean you will shoot me or that you won’t?” I asked, confused. Kris gave me a worried glance when I looked up. I hadn’t realised I’d walked a good few metres away from him. I smiled, apologetic, again.
“Correct?” She asked again, with a bit more bitterness.
“Lorna, are you going to shoot me? Or is this some way to know if I’m sorry? You know what – screw it.” I said, rolling my eyes. “Yes, that’s correct.” I finally said.
“Yay!” She said happily at the other end of the phone. “Where are you?” She asked.
“Park with Kris.” I said, confusion still in my voice. I said it more like a question.
“Cool, I'll just grab my machine gun and be down in a minute.” She said, naturally. The phone beeped.
“Bizarre…” I muttered, looking at it perplexed. I looked up. I seemed to have walked even further away from Kris! I shook my head, confused, and headed back over to him.
“We should run – or buy a shield…” I said, giving it honest thought. He gave me a puzzled look. “Lorna’s on her way down with a machine gun.” I explained. He smiled at me.
“Lovely.”
“Prepared to die?” I asked him, holding out my hand so he’d take it. He did, thankfully.
“Not alone.” He said, laughing. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. He just smiled.
“So, what were you saying before Lorna rudely interrupted?” I asked, changing the conversation before it became uncomfortable again.

Part Three

-

“Do you trust me?” Lorna asked, running behind me and turning me back around when I tried to turn to face her. I sighed. My stomach wasn’t feeling well enough for silly games.
“That depends.”
“On?”
“What I’m trusting you with.” I told her.
“You’re life.” She said, laughing menacingly. It made me shiver uncomfortably, like someone had walked over my grave.
“You’re creeping me out today, Lorna.” I said.
“Do you trust me?” She whined, starting to sound like a spoilt teenager who was about to stomp her foot.
“What are you going to do?” I asked her.
“Answer my question first!” She complained. I sighed.
“Fine, okay, I trust you…” I said, unwillingly. I waited in fear now of what she was going to say.
“Fall backwards.” She instructed me.
“Hell no!” I said, laughing and starting to walk. She caught up with me.
“Gaby! You said you trusted me.”
“And you’re still in an obvious mood with me. I don’t want to break my back, thank you.” I said, smiling smugly. She suddenly fake hurt.
“I am shocked!” She said, shaking her head. “You said you trusted me!”
“I do! Just not… right… now…” I paused as a sudden sickly feel churned my stomach and burned my throat. I swayed and Lorna smiled, thinking I was about to fall. And then I did fall. But sideways, not backwards. Lorna wasn’t expecting it. She grabbed a handful of my jacket, but my hands hit the grass and I was going too fast for her to pull me up by my clothes.
“Gaby!” Lorna was shocked, she crouched next to me on the floor. I realised my eyes were closed, but I wasn’t asleep. No, not asleep. “Gabs! C’mon!” She shoved me and my eyes flicked open.
“Ow.” I said, when I felt a throb in my head. She smiled.
“I thought you’d died.” She said, obvious relief rushing through her. “That wasn’t a joke was it? Because if it was I'll knock ten points off.”
“No it wasn’t an effing joke! I just fainted Lorna. I think. I’ve never fainted before.” I sat up, the sickly feeling still in my stomach. The park was spinning around me. I closed my eyes and brought my hands to my temples. “And 10 points off what?” I snapped at her. Lorna put her hand on my forehead.
“Gaby, you’re freezing.” She told me, shocked at how moist my head seemed to be.
“Really?” I asked, my breathing really heavy, like I’d been running for hours. Lorna got her phone out.
“I’m calling Kris.” She muttered, her phone already pressed to her ear.
“No! Lorna, honestly I’m fine.” I begged, but she could hear in my voice I wasn’t. “I just need to get home and go to bed.” I told her. I heard Kris answer the phone, but only the hum of his voice. I couldn’t tell otherwise.
“Fine.” Lorna said, “Sorry Kris. Never mind.” She muttered, closing her phone. “If you die on me, Kris will kill me. I hope you realise this.”
“What, so if I died you wouldn’t want to join me?” I asked sarcastically. My voice felt faint.
“Can you walk?” She asked me.
“Can we not wait here just a few minutes?” I asked, she shook her head.
“You need to get home.”
“Erh. Fine.” I said, standing up. Before I even knew what had happened I was on the floor again, my head spinning like before. My eyes were closed, and Lorna sounded frantic next to me.
“Yes she’s still breathing! It’s been about 15 seconds Kris!” She shouted. I think maybe she was on the phone
I opened my eyes and she sighed in relief. Then she hit me, not hard, but enough for my arm to hurt.
“Don’t you ever do that again!” She screamed. “She’s awake.” She directed into the phone, with a calmed look on her face. “Okay, see you soon.”
“Again?” I asked, confused.
“Are you dehydrated?” Lorna asked me. I just shrugged. It wasn’t a particularly hot day. Nice, but not hot. I tried to get up again, but Lorna shoved me down.
“You’re not moving until Kris is here.”
I groaned.
“Why?” I asked, my voice thick.
“Because he can carry you, and hold you up, if worst comes to worst. I can’t.” She reminded me. I nodded and lay back, my hand over my eyes. I feel so hot. I started fanning my face with my hands and she stopped me.
“What are you doing? You’re frozen!” She told me, as I opened my eyes. I sighed.
“I feel so hot though.”
“Well, you’re not.” She said, pushing my arms down into my side. We were silent for a good few minutes. I was surprised when nobody seemed to be walking passed us. It was quite a pleasant day. But then I remembered how we’d walked to the other end of the huge football field. I never see people over here.
“Is she okay?” I heard Kris’s voice shout from a small distance. Maybe a few metres. I groaned again.
“She died.” Lorna said, lifting my hand up and letting it flop lifelessly back onto the ground. “Sorry about the loss.” She continued to Kris.
“Can I go home now?” I asked Lorna, opening my eyes. Kris had knelt down next to me without me even realising. He put an arm around my waist and helped me get up. My head span for a minute and I stumbled into his side. His arms wrapped around me, protectively.
“She does sound dead. And feel it actually. You’re freezing.” He held me just that little bit tighter, and I had to shrug away. I felt so hot. I felt so sick. His arm stayed wrapped around my waist, obviously he didn’t think I could walk back without falling over, but I had a bit more space.
“I don’t feel cold.” I told him, my voice straining. He wiped my moist forehead with his hand.
“Do you have a fever?” He asked me, suddenly quite anxious. I shook my head.
“I’m fine. I promise.” I told them both. Lorna was stood on my other side looking… awkward. “I'll sleep it off. It feels like one of those things that’ll be gone by the morning.” I looked at them. Neither of them seemed to believe me. “Promise.” I muttered, but the word came out slurred. Everything went dark again.

-

My whole body felt stiff.
My head hurt.
My stomach churned.
My mouth was dry.

I opened my eyes and realised I wasn’t in the park anymore. I was in my bed, and it was dark. And I was not alone. Kris was lying next to me, still in the same clothes he’d been wearing that day, his arm wrapped around me. I tried to move without waking him, but it was impossible. My stomach cramped and I took a sharp intake of breath. It woke him up.
“Gaby?” He asked, both relieved and oddly curious.
“I’m just going to the bathroom.” I muttered, my whole body sweating. I walked – stumbled really – out of my room carefully, holding onto the wall for support. I headed into the bathroom. I didn’t lock the door, just encase. I still feel slightly dizzy. I leaned over the sink, and started filling it with cold water. My face felt so sweaty and hot. I touched my forehead and froze. It was icy cold, but my blood felt hot and boiling underneath the skin. I splashed my face and added a bit of soap, before sitting down on the floor, leaning against the bathtub. I put my hands on the side of my head, scrunching my hair up, and rested my elbows on my knees. Then my head pounded. My eyes scrunched shut, trying to block out the pain…
There was a faint knocking on the door. My head throbbed.
“Are you okay?” Kris asked, very quietly. I was thankful for that. I stumbled up and walked over to the door, holding the sink for support. I knew the door wasn’t locked, but he wouldn’t come out until I shouted back, and I wasn’t sure if I could raise my voice louder than a whisper without being sick.
“No.” I whispered back when I opened the door. He held his arms out and I walked forward so he could hold me.
“What’s wrong? How do you feel?” He asked, starting to direct me back to my bedroom. I fell on the bed, on top of the covers, and closed my eyes.
“Headache, that sickly feeling, stomach cramps…” I muttered as he shut my door and climbed on the bed to sit next to me. He brushed my hair out of my face.
“Aren’t you tired?” I asked, trying to look around for a clock. I knew it was dark, but that could mean it was only 8 at night. Although, I hadn’t seen anyone else around. And the lights in the kitchen and living room were out.
“No, I’m fine.” He said, holding onto my hand.
“You shouldn’t be in here.” I said, but I pulled him closer to me so I could hold his whole arm. “You might catch whatever I have.” I told him. He shrugged.
“The damage is already done now.” He told me, kissing my icy forehead – to him anyway. To me it was burning.
“Still.” I muttered, hoping he wouldn’t listen to me. I want him to stay with me. I don’t want to be on my own. “Can you open the window?” I asked, knowing he’d say no.
“You’re freezing Gaby.” He said in a disapproving way.
“If I promise to go under the covers, can you open the window?” I asked, already starting to go under. I paused. He put his arm on my shoulder, obviously thinking the pause meant something else.
“What happened after the park, Kris?” I asked, preparing for embarrassment.
“Nothing of interest.” He started, as I continued to move again and went under the covers. He opened my window and then wrapped his arms around me again so he was whispering the story into my ear. “You fainted and Lorna freaked out.” There was a brief pause which I was guessing was his way of telling me that he felt anxious about me fainting too. “Lorna was about to ring an ambulance when I told her there’s no point. You just needed to rest for a while, and at least unconscious you couldn’t feel all the pain.
“Lorna was going to change you into some pyjamas when we got in, but I told her you’re practically in pyjamas anyway, those clothes are so old.” He laughed, and kissed my forehead.
“I was going to change out of these after my shower.” I muttered, “but I couldn’t be bothered.”
He laughed again.
“What time is it?” I asked, my eyes closed and too heavy to re-open. I think my words were slightly slurred.
“23 minutes past 1.” He told me. I nodded. When Kris left us it was about 5, so that means I’ve been unconscious for 8 hours. Surely he must’ve panicked… I bet they called in a doctor on me or something. If they did, and I find out – I may have to die of shame, not this stupid disease.
“Go to sleep.” He whispered soothingly. “I love you.”
I nodded and held his hand closer to my body, giving it a small squeeze. I hope he realised that was my way of telling him I loved him back. But he already knew that.
Today’s been a long, painful day.

-

Lorna's POV

“I wanna go out!” Natalie moaned as she sat on the sofa.
“Go!” Zak said without moving his eyes from the screen. Liverpool were playing, erm, some other team on TV and Zak as usual was glued to the screen.
“I need someone with me!” Natalie moaned.
“Lorna’ll go!” Zak said. I tuned in to the conversation at the mention of my name. I was sitting in the kitchen staring into space, thinking obviously. What would make Gaby faint? She seemed fine!
“She won’t” I said, referring to myself in third person. Natalie gave me a look! As if she was pleading with me.
“Look, Lorna just please go!” Zak said. “She won’t stop!” He was still speaking without removing his eyes from the screen.
“But Gaby’s ill!” I said.
“She’ll be fine!” Natalie said. “C’mon!”
“She passed out!”
“She’ll have been too hot!”
“She was freezing!”
“Too cold then!” Natalie said getting up from the couch and walking over to me. “You’re coming!” She grabbed my arm and pulled me off of the chair.
“But ... Gaby!”
“Stop worrying!” Natalie said, dragging me down to my room. “Get Changed!”
“Into what?”
“Something pretty!” She smiled, leaving me standing in the middle of my room.

“Hannah!” Natalie said, running across the SU. Great! I’ve been ditched already! I turned to go out the door. “You dare!” Natalie shouted.
I sighed and turned in my heels and wandered over to where Hannah and Natalie stood.
“Hey” Hannah said.
“Hi” I smiled shyly. I don’t really know Hannah but she seemed close with Natalie. I stood there as Natalie and Hannah babbled away to each other. I feel completely out of place. Natalie and Hannah headed over to the bar and I followed. I lifted my phone out of my little gold clutch bag that matches my outfit perfectly.
How is she? I sent to Kris. He seems like my most texted person at the moment.
Scored yet? I sent to Zak. He always texts back like I do so at least I won’t look completely out of place.
“She’ll have a Smirnoff Ice” Natalie said asking for my drink for me when she saw I was looking at my phone. I kept hold of my phone and took the bottle that the barman sat down on the bar and walked over to the seats and slumped down onto the couch beside Natalie.
“Can you tell Lorna didn’t want to come out tonight?” Natalie laughed staring at me.
“Yes!” Hannah laughed.
“Sorry” I sighed. “Was out last night”
“So were we!” Hannah said as if it was no excuse. I’ve had 2 hours sleep! I wasn’t gonna say that though I don’t want to argue. My phone vibrated on my lap and I picked it up. Hannah and Natalie continued talking while I checked my text. Yeah Actually!! Zak had texted back. I smiled even though I’d hoped that would’ve been Kris. Gaby should have went to the hospital and been checked out! Then we’d know what had caused it. I had the same amount of sleep as she’d done and have I passed out? No. Something’s up!
Don’t worry! She’s fine Kris had sent back. How can I not worry! She’s been weird for a week!
“Put the phone down!” Natalie said as if I was a child. “I’ll confiscate it!” She threatened. I slid it back down and put it back in my bag and sighed.
--
An hour later and I had managed to escape. Natalie and Hannah had found a group of guys to keep them occupied and it would take them at least another hour to realise I hadn’t actually gone to the bathroom. I had worn one of my hardest pairs of shoes to walk in! I stumbled along the street as if I was pissed but I’m really not! I’ve had half a Smirnoff Ice! I’m not exactly in a drinking mood or a dancing mood. I just want to walk and listen to my iPod. I’d made it practically to the entrance to the park already while listening to Gwen Stefani.
“Lorna!” I jumped as I heard someone shout my name. I pulled my iPod out of my ears and looked around. I was freezing! It’s the beginning of November and I’m out in a very skimpy gold top without a jacket! I saw Elliot sitting over below a tree on a rug with telescopes and books. Practically the exact way I’d found him the night Becky died. He was watching me waiting on me walking over. I moved off of the path and staggered over to below the tree. I practically collapsed onto the picnic blanket.
“Someone’s been drinking” Elliot said, turning the pages of one of his books.
“No” I said defensively. “Someone just can’t walk her shoes” I said taking off my gold heels and sitting them beside me on the rug. “What you looking for?” I asked when he continued to flick the pages.
“Information on a meteor shower” He said, engrossed in the books.
“What?”
“Read.” He stated throwing the book at me before going to fix his telescope. I looked at the book he’d handed me. There was a picture of 7 fiery balls following each other. I read the information. It said that the shower which was said to happen tonight was called the Taurids.
“It says that this shower is also called Halloween Fireballs?” I asked.
“Yes” Elliot said patiently waiting on the next half on my query.
“Well aren’t you early?”
“No” He shook his head. “Scientists can predict the exact moment they will cross the sky and which direction. Like today, scientists in America have issued a statement saying that the Taurids will pass over England in north westerly direction at around 11pm”
“But how do they know?”
“Research” Elliot said. He’s hardly the most talkative person in the world. I shrugged.
“How big are they?” I asked.
“Huge. But to us they’re very small because of our distance away!” He said. He’s simplifying everything so I’ll understand it. I’d just nod anyway if I didn’t and then google what he said later on (cause I’m that cool)
“But why are you out here-“ I stopped to check the time on my phone. “2 hours early”
“To set up” He shrugged. “Will you help?”
“Sure” I smiled. “What do you want me to do?”
“Can you work a video camera?”
“Yes” I smiled. God Elliot I’m not that thick!
“Can you set it up so that the camera is pointing at that constellation over there?” I nodded.
“Isn’t that Taurus?”
“See! You do know some things about space!” He said excitedly. Yeah, I only know that one cause it’s a star sign! But I’m not gonna say that. I angled the camera on its tripod stand facing up to the constellation. It’s such a nice – but cold – night. The sky is so clear and the stars are really bright and cause the parks dark you can see so many more of them than you usually do! I can see why Elliot’s so fascinated when you can see the stars like this.
“Done” I said as the camera was angled correctly . Elliot let go off the telescope and came over to check that I’d done it properly. Where is the trust?!
“Thanks” Elliot said, after changing the way I’d placed the camera completely. I rolled my eyes and sat back down on the rug.

---

“Lorna!” Elliot said slapping my arm.
“I’m up!” I said, sitting straight up and blinking repetitively adjusting to the light. We’re in the park! We slept out here?? What about the meteor shower!
“We can go back now” Elliot said, lifting up the box with his telescope in it and a plastic bag with his books.
“I missed it” I said.
“You did” Elliot said sounding quite annoyed. “You fell asleep around half an hour before it happened.
“Sorry” I sighed. “Only had 2 hours sleep the night before”
“That’s just irresponsible” He said as if he was disgusted. I was trying my hardest not to laugh. “C’mon then” He said, handing me the bags with the books that felt like they were actually stretching my arms they were that heavy. We walked out of the park in complete silence. I don’t even know what time it is. I went into my bag and took out my phone.
“6.36?!”
“Yes. If you don’t get up now you miss the best part of the day!”
“I’m going back to bed when we get in!” I said. My phone started beeping repetitively as I’d just gotten signal. I’d tried to text people last night – to cure my boredom – but none of my texts would start. I let it continue to beep until it stopped.
5 New Messages I looked at them all. I scrolled down and read them in the order I’d received them.
Kris (1.19am): She’s awake
Natalie (1.45am): Where are you?! I figured you’d left but you’re not back at halls either! X
Zak (5.00am): Where the hell are you?
Gaby (6.00am): I’d just gone back to sleep then when Zak and Natalie woke me up. They’re worried. I’m not  Okay, I’m joking. I am. Slightly. Where are you?! You better text me back!
Kris (6.20): Now everyone’s up! Get back here now, you’re in trouble!!!
I couldn’t help myself but laugh. I should’ve texted someone to say where I was but to be honest I didn’t think anyone would bother. I’m a big girl for god sakes! We reached halls, climbed the stairs and entered through the front door.
“Lorna!” Natalie said, running over to me and giving me a hug before letting me go and looking me straight in the face. “Give me your phone!”
“Wh-“ I started to ask confuse.
“Just give me it!” She said as if she was my mother. I went into my bag got out my phone and Natalie snatched it off of me and started playing with it. The next thing I know Zak’s phone is ringing and he answers it.
“So it does work!” Natalie said into the phone.
“Yup!” Zak said, cutting off the phone call and sticking his phone back in his pocket. While they were doing this Elliot had walked past me and gone to put his stuff back in his room but everyone was completely oblivious to this except me!
“Where have you been?”
“Out with Elliot”
“You could’ve said you were leaving!!” Natalie said sitting back down on the couch. “Something could’ve happened to you!”
“I was with Elliot!”
“Yes but I thought you were still in the loo!”
“I didn’t even go to the loo!” I said, walking over to the fridge and getting a drink.
“Liar!” Natalie said pouting! “You should’ve told me you were leaving!”
“I’m sorry!” I said.
“You shouldn’t have left by yourself!” Natalie started lecturing me.
“I’m a big girl!” I laughed.
“With the mentality of a 5 year old!” Kris added in.
“Thanks!” I said sarcastically before I yawned. “I’m going to bed!”
“Wait!” Gaby said before I got to my room. “What were you doing with Elliot?” She asked.
“We were in the park” I said, yawning again. “He was watching some meteor shower. I fell asleep”
“Right” Gaby said, obviously not believing what I was saying. As I walked down to my room I could hear them saying they were awake now anyway well except Natalie who had headed down the corridor after me. I practically collapsed onto my bed and was asleep within minutes ...

Gaby's POV | Part One of many...

“Well, now I’m awake.” Zak complained, sighing heavily and falling onto the sofa. I stood, staring down the corridor and Lorna’s door, then I turned my head to look at Elliot’s. Something was going on. Lorna’s been complaining about Elliot non stop recently. She can’t just magically have fallen back in love with him. Maybe that whole meteor story was true, after all. I swayed slightly - my head was still spinning – and Kris put his arm around my waist to hold me up. I put my head against his chest and closed my eyes.
“So am I, but she doesn’t seem to be.” Kris muttered, laughing with Zak. He kissed my head and squeezed me tighter for a few seconds. “Are you still feeling ill?” He whispered, so Zak wouldn’t comment. I nodded and he started walking me down the corridor. I stopped and started shaking my head.
“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to stay in there with me.” I said, pulling away from him. I stumbled towards my door and he held me up by my arm.
“You can hardly walk.” He muttered, laughing to himself.
“I can!” I insisted, putting my hands on the wall so they could guide me inside. He followed me anyway. “Kris, I honestly don’t need you to stay with me.” I said, in a way that would hopefully not sound rude.
“I’m staying with you because I want to, not because you need me to.” He told me, directing me into my bedroom and kissing my cheek.
“Thanks – I guess.” I said, shrugging and getting into bed again. He shuffled next to me and let me snuggle into his side, his arms wrapping tightly around me.
“Feel better. Please.” He said, kissing the top of my head.
“It’s not something I can make happen.” I said, a hint of bitterness in my voice. He laughed and then sighed.
“I hate seeing you like this.”
“I hate you seeing me like this.” I replied, closing my eyes then.
“Sleep well.” He laughed. I nodded and my thoughts drifted.

-

Kris looked wiped out. I shook my head as I stood in his doorway, leaning casually against the frame. He gave me a confused look.
“Have you caught what I had?” I asked, passing him the glass of water I’d brought through for him and then leaning up against the door again.
“No.” He said, smiling and taking a sip of the drink. I sighed. Four days had passed since I fainted in the park. I didn’t feel much better, but I wasn’t light headed anymore. I could walk around without the risk of falling over. Occasionally I’d have to stop because I felt like I was going to die of the pain in my stomach - or throw up… But it didn’t happen often.
“You look so tired though.” I said, walking up to him and crouching next to where he sat at the desk. I was lower down than he was now, but it didn’t matter. I lightly stroked the light bags under his eyes. “Did you sleep at all last night?”
“No.” He admitted, before turning and concentrating on whatever he was writing.
“Why not?” I asked, trying not to sound so paranoid, but it was hard.
“You were looking really bad again last night.” He told me. I rolled my eyes.
“So you decided not to sleep?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. He looked away, obviously realising I didn’t like the idea of that. There was a silence for a long moment.
“You’re banned from coming into my room for the next few nights.” I said, standing up. He took my hand in his.
“Gaby, you were in pain last night.” He told me. I nodded. I was in pain last night. The cramps in my stomach were so bad at one point I couldn’t move at all. And the nausea never left.
“I got over it.” I said, shrugging.
“You were crying at one point.” He said, worry clear in his eyes. I put my hand on his shoulder and knelt on the floor next to him again.
“Kris, I can’t feel better if you’re worrying about me so much that you get ill.” I told him, “Please calm down.” I said, kissing him lightly on the lips. “I don’t want you to stay with me for a few days, okay?”
“But-” He began protesting.
“Please Kris.” My eyes closed.
“Gaby, I-”
“Please.” I whispered quietly. He hesitated.
“Fine. Okay.” He agreed. I smiled and opened my eyes.
“Thank you.” I whispered in reply. I stood up again and headed back out of the room.

-

“So, you’re not feeling well enough to go out, but you’re feeling well enough to stay in and have our own party?” Lorna asked suspiciously. I sighed and shook my head.
“That is not what I said and you know it!” I said, scrubbing the plate she handed to me with warm soapy water.
“It’s what you meant.” She smiled and I thrust the plate into her hands so she could dry it.
“It isn’t. I feel really nauseous at the moment. I just want to have fun here. Is that not possible? Without the loud music and slutty dancing – if possible.”
“What if we have quiet music and rave?” Lorna asked, amused. I sighed and dropped the plate I was scrubbing into the sink of water. My eyes scrunched together and held my breath as another sharp pain stabbed my stomach. It passed after a few seconds. I gasped for breath at the end of it.
“Gabs?” Lorna asked, looking concerned.
“I’m okay.” I assured her, picking the plate up again and scrubbing it. She polished a wine glass carefully.
“So…” She began, “Mini rave?”
“No.” I said, smiling now. “How about a night of gossip, games, and booze? Nothing that requires too much physical activity hopefully.”
“Good, so no matter how drunk you get, you and Kris won’t be making a racket tonight! That’s made me feel happier.” She said, and I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or serious.
“That’s so cruel.” I muttered, not looking at her as I felt my cheeks get a little hotter.
“Sorry.” Lorna said, but in a way that showed she really, really wasn’t sorry.
“Anyway, I can see that my idea is sounding more boring every second after all your silly inputs. You all go out, I'll stay in.” I said, finishing the last plate, handing it to her, and unplugging the sink. I rinsed my hands under the tap and used the towel Lorna was using to dry them.
“I’m not leaving you alone! Now that’s cruel.” Lorna said matter-of-factly.
“Mm hmm.” I said, rolling my eyes and walking into the living area so I could sit on the sofa instead. I feel so tired, but not like I could sleep. Like I’ve been moving around so much.
“I'll hang with Elliot, don’t worry.” I said, smiling at Lorna. She gave me an unimpressed look.
“Whatever.” She mumbled, “Kris is always hanging around – maybe I'll just slip…” She paused, “onto his lips!”
I gasped overdramatically.
“HA! Yeah! See! Two can play at that game.” She said, narrowing her eyes. I glared at her.
“You. Wouldn’t. Dare.” I said each word slowly…
And then we laughed. I laughed so hard I had to try and stop myself before I was sick. It hurt to laugh, but it felt good to laugh. I hate this feeling.
“Ha…” Lorna let her last laugh trail away. “Me and Kris – Pfftttt!” She said, laughing again. I just smiled.
“Well, that was fun.” I muttered a few minutes later. Lorna laughed again. She was always laughing.
“I want Milkshake.” She mumbled when the laughing suddenly stopped. I smiled.
“Get some.” I told her.
“I don’t have time.” She said, looking at her watch. “I have a lecture in 17 minutes.”
“Precise.”
“And accurate.” She said, winking. I smiled again and closed my eyes. Now I feel like I could sleep. Again.


To Be Continued

2.

“Natalie, pass me the bread?” Lorna asked, getting the butter out of the fridge. Natalie – who was sat next to me on the sofa – gave her a confused look.
“But I’m all the way over here.” She protested, turning back around and facing her laptop.
“I can wait.” Lorna said, narrowing her eyes. “I have to sort this out.” She pointed to the pasta she was making.
“But – I’m all the way over here!” Natalie said, her voice slightly higher than usual. I sighed and stood up, going over to Lorna, and passing her the bread that was about 20 centimetres from her hand.
“Are you going to explain why you couldn’t just reach out and grab it?” I asked, placing it sharply into her hands. My voice was low so Natalie couldn’t hear.
“I needed to talk to Natalie.” Lorna admitted, not meeting my eyes. She was just as quiet as I was.
“About…?” I asked, my eyebrows getting closer together.
“If I wanted you to know, don’t you think I’d have just said it to her now?”
“Okay, I'm going out anyway.” I said, picking up my coat. “Bye.”
“You don’t have to leave.” Lorna said, putting the bread down and looking at me.
“I need to go to the shop. It’s fine.” I lied, shrugging and heading out of the door. I ran down the stairs two at a time and escaped into the fresh air. It was nice being out of the flat. I hadn’t left since I was ill. However, I wish I’d stayed and eavesdropped from my room or something. I didn’t turn back. The air was clean and fresh and cold. It made me feel better. I didn’t know where I was heading until I arrived there. The park, again. I walked passed the playground and watched all the children climbing up and down the climbing frame. A little girl slipped down the slide and landed on her knees. She sat there for a whole 2 seconds, before deciding she was in pain and bursting into tears. It was weird, watching her Mother suddenly look panicked and scared for her daughter. She tried to stay brave, telling the child not to cry… Anyone could tell that the Mother was fearing what was wrong with her daughter. She was hurting because her daughter was hurting.
I sighed. Why do I feel so interested by all this? It’s like I’m a part of this lifestyle. I’m not. I haven’t watched a child play in the park since Naomi was 8 and I was 12. That’s when I finally decided to tell my Mum that I didn’t want to be seen taking my little sister to the park when all of my friends were out having fun. I regret that now. Naomi wouldn’t talk to me for months after that.
I walked away from the playground and towards the small forest at the edge. I wasn’t going to go far in. Just to the first tree stump so I can sit down.
It didn’t take long for me to find one. Only about two meters in. I sat there for a good half hour, just thinking. I couldn’t understand why I felt so odd. Why did I feel so nauseous and light headed… And tired? It doesn’t make any sense.
I stood up. I couldn’t stay here any longer. Despite the fact I’d forgotten my phone and nobody knew where I was, I needed to use a toilet urgently. I swayed slightly on the spot and had to hold a tree until the moment passed. I headed back towards halls, making sure I always had something next to me I could grab hold of in case I got dizzy again.

-

“Hey guys.” I said, walking in and putting my jacket behind the door. I walked around the glass wall and stood at the counter. Lorna smiled at me, putting her magazine down and going to stand up.
“Gabs, can I talk to you?” She asked, heading over to me.
“Later.” I whispered back. She nodded and went down the corridor to her bedroom. I looked back at the 2 other people sat in the living area. Natalie hadn’t even looked up from her laptop. Kris however...
“Where’ve you been?” He asked, a frown on his face. I sighed.
“Any reason why I should tell you?” I asked, not looking at him. I wasn’t in the mood for an argument, but I could tell one was coming up.
“Because maybe I was worried? And you didn’t take your phone.” He was walking over to me now.
“Why were you worried?” I asked, like it was a stupid thing to have done.
“You’ve not been well recently, Gaby. You could’ve fainted or anything…” He trailed off, and sounded suddenly stressed. I sighed.
“You’re being ridiculous, Kris. You know I’ve been feeling fine.” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I’m not being ridiculous!” He protested.
“Me-oww!” Natalie said from the couch, still not turning around, but shaking with laughter. I smiled and got myself a drink of water.
“Shut up Natalie.” Kris muttered, he stepped around the counter to stand next to me. He lowered his voice. “You know I’ve been worried about you lately.”
“I still don’t see why.” I whispered back. He put his hand on mine and kissed my cheek.
“I love you, is that reason not enough?”
“No.” I snapped back. He rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious here Kris.”
“What’s up?” He asked, putting an arm around my waist. I turned away from him.
“A few things.” I muttered back.
“Like…?”
“Well,” I paused, “Kris, you’ve not given me much privacy recently.” I said, leaning up against the counter. “And I’m sort of… freaking out.” I admitted, shaking my head in annoyance at myself.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way.” He said, moving his arm from around my waist. I shrugged. “What are you freaking out about?” He asked, touching my shoulder tentatively.
“Nothing important.” I said, turning around and smiling at him. “I just don’t like the way everything’s been here recently.” I told him. He nodded.
“Well, it’ll all be fine soon.”
“Yeah. Sure.” I said, but not really believing it. He put his arms around me and kissed the side of my head. I pulled away after a second. I didn’t really want to be hanging around with Kris right now.

“Hey, Gaby. Can I talk to you?” Natalie asked, before giving Kris a look. “In private.” She added when Kris didn’t catch on. He nodded, kissed my cheek again, then headed out the front door. I sat at the counter.
“What’s up?” I asked, as she stood up and sat on the stool opposite me. Why did everyone suddenly need to talk to me? No, not everyone. Lorna and Natalie… Who I left to talk alone, privately, earlier. Was it about me?
“Okay, don’t get all snappy or anything.” She muttered, smiling nervously at me. “But me and Lorna were wondering if you should maybe go see a doctor.”
“Why?” I asked, confused.
“Because you’ve been ill.”
“I’m feeling better.”
“We’ve both seen you wincing a few times, and getting light headed and disorientated…” She trailed off, obviously trying not to make me feel bad.
“I’m fine, Natalie. Promise.” It was only a small lie.
“I don’t want to wake up and find you dead, to be honest.”
“Oh cheers.” I said, rolling my eyes. She laughed.
“No, all serious now. We don’t want you to be ill and not know about it.”
I paused, feeling myself starting to stress. If I wanted to see a doctor I would have by now and it would be my decision! Mine. Not theirs. Why are they worrying about me when I’m not? It’s stupid and pointless. Everything is fine.
“I’m fine!” I snapped. So much for keeping cool.
“Okay, I know. I just wanted to make sure you’d thought about it.”
“Thought about it? Natalie I don’t need a bloody doctor! I’m fine! Just leave me alone. If I don’t feel the need to see a doctor, I don’t need to see a doctor. I'll tell you when I feel like death.” I jumped up to walk away.
“Woah – it’s someone’s time of the month.” Natalie said, raising her eyebrows at my little rant.
“No! It is not… actually…” I trailed off. My heart suddenly started racing as panic washed through me sending an odd chill through my body. My stomach felt extremely empty.
“Just, talk to Lorna about this.” Natalie said, obviously not noticing that I was frozen with fear and my mind was somewhere else completely.
“Er – yeah. Sure.” I said, standing up. “Excuse me.” I muttered, rushing down to my bedroom.
“Sorry.” Natalie called after me. I didn’t care anymore. I pushed my door shut and sat on the edge of my bed. Adrenalin was pumping around my veins. I closed my eyes, trying to stop myself from being sick. This can’t be right. I just got a bit spooked out and everything’s just one massive big coincidence. Everything has to just be a massive big coincidence. It wasn’t possible! My mind was spinning. My stomach was churning, everything I’d eating was threatening to come back up. I felt tears stinging my eyes. It was weird. The fear, the pain, the nerves – it all felt like I was preparing for this. Like somewhere in me knew and Natalie just gave me that extra little shove so I could figure it out. But I was wrong. I had to be wrong.
I went and sat at my desk, gasping for air. This fear – This shock. It was causing me to hyperventilate. My heart was throbbing painfully in my chest. I had to settle my nerves. Prove my thoughts wrong. I reached over for the calendar that I still hadn’t hung up on the wall. I flicked the page over and gasped. I hadn’t marked anything. I flicked the page again, and there was a mark. 2 days before I first arrived in Hollyoaks.
I counted the days, and felt my heart come to a stand still. I must’ve counted wrong. That can’t be right. So, I counted again. And again. And again. I counted 6 times – each time getting the exact same answer.
12 days.
I’m 12 days late.

To Be Continued...

3.

I didn’t know what to do. My mind was panicked, thinking of other reasons for this delay. I could remember years ago, my doctor telling me that I might not have a regular pattern for years. He told me I might not have a period for years… It didn’t stop, of course. Once I was fine again, I got into my normal, regular pattern. From the age of 11 – 14, I wasn’t late once. Since I was 16, I have never been late. Never. So why? What reason could make me so late now? Apart from the obvious, which is impossible! Extremely impossible!
Stress and change. They can stop it, sometimes, right? I think.
I can’t take it. My whole body’s shaking in fear. I need reassurance. I need to talk to someone. But who? Kris is a definite no. He’d freak out before I get the first sentence out of my mouth. Lorna would be difficult as she thinks I’m sleeping with her dork. I bet she’d jump to a stupid conclusion. Natalie would probably make some sarcastic joke out of it. Zak and Zoë would just be embarrassing. Sure, I know them. But I haven’t known them very long… I haven’t known anyone here very long.
Two people popped in my head. First was Olivia. She’d definitely understand and talk to me and tell me what to do. But would she judge me? I haven’t spoken to her in almost 3 months. I wouldn’t want that to be the first thing we talk about. Me worrying, her listening and advising. It wouldn’t be fun, for either of us.
The second person I thought of was Rebecca. She wouldn’t judge me. Becka would be sympathetic and probably the same as Olivia in some way. Plus, I’d spoken to her recently, so it wouldn’t just be out of the blue. I just need to talk to someone. I need someone to tell me everything’s alright! I need someone to tell me I’m just over reacting. Because that’s what I’m doing. Over reacting.
I picked my phone up and quickly rang Becka. She answered after two rings.

“Gaby?” She asked, a little unsure.
“Hey Becka.” I said, trying to sound happy, but my voice was shaking - as was my hand - so it didn’t sound very confident.
“How are you? Are you okay?” She rushed, obviously hearing the fear in my voice. Or the nerves.
“Not really – no.” I tried to laugh a little, but I couldn’t. My voice was so thick – It sounded like I was crying when I wasn’t.
“What’s up?”
“Erm. Well.” I was breathing very heavily. “I-I’m 12 days late Becks.” I said, tears suddenly pouring out of my eyes. She was silent for a few seconds.
“Are you pregnant?” She finally asked.
“I don’t know.” I gasped for breath.
“Well, is it possible.”
“No!” I said, “Well, yes. I have… had sex… But it’s impossible! I’m on the pill. And he used protection too!” I told her. I just wanted to scream.
There was another long silence.
“Gaby, promise me you’ve not slipped back into your old ways.” She whispered.
“I promise! I haven’t. I promise.” I said, the tears making my words less understandable, but she got it.
“Well, maybe it’s just the stress or something. You didn’t accidently forget to take the pill one day, did you?” She asked, a thought crossing her mind. I thought for a minute.
“No – at least… I don’t think so. Maybe one of the first days, but it was weeks later that I...” I stopped, realising where she was coming from. “No. No!” I shouted. “We still used extra protection!”
“Gaby, don’t over react yet, okay? Take a test and then you can react. If you are… pregnant… then you can figure something out. You can get an abortion or even have it if you want it. But it’s probably nothing. Don’t worry about it yet. You’ll just be late, or counted wrong or something.”
“Becka, I’m never late and I counted 5 times!” I screeched, my voice so high it hurt. The tears burst through my eyes.
“Shh. Gabs, Shh.” Becka waited until my sobs slowly stopped. “Take a test, and then react. Okay?”
“Okay.” I whispered. She was right. I shouldn’t be worried yet.
“Good luck.”
“Mm Hmm.” My voice was still abnormally high.
“Bye.” She muttered, and the phone went dead.

-

“Who died?” Natalie asked as I walked down the corridor. I opened them wider, confused about her question. She suddenly looked regretful. “Oh God! Who died?” She asked, guilty this time.
“What?” I asked, my voice rough. “No one.” I said, clearing my throat.
“Well, you look like you’ve been crying, and you’re white.” She said, a confused look on her face. “And your hands are shaking.” She pointed out, before looking back at her magazine. I put my hands behind my back.
“I’m fine.” I told her, but I didn’t kid her. She just looked at me, raising her eyebrows as an accusation. I ignored her and turned to the wine rack, picking up the only red one on there. The one I’d bought a few days earlier. I opened it with a corkscrew and stared at it for a few seconds before deciding I didn’t need a glass. I took a deep swig out of it and gasped.
“Gaby!” Natalie said shocked. I looked at her. “It’s only 4!” She watched as I took another long gulp. “Okay, something serious is going on here.” She muttered, standing up and facing me. “Has something happened between you and Kris? Or Elliot?” She added the last part on tentatively. I glared at her.
“Not as such, no.” I took another drink. “And I am not seeing Elliot!” I added, angrily, through my teeth. She nodded.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I said, drinking some more wine and walking around her to the sofa. She followed and sat on the one next to me.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” She ordered. I shook my head and sighed.
“Noth-”
The front door opened. I didn’t bother looking. I was just thankful to whoever it was. I drank a bit more wine and looked at the bottle. I’d drunk at least 2 glasses worth already. I’m not sure that’s healthy. Especially for a – a…
“What are you doing?” Kris asked from behind me. He was quiet, and slightly hesitant. I turned around.
“Hello to you too.” I said, smiling. His expression suddenly changed. From slightly amused, to completely worried.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?” He asked whizzing around the couch to sit next to me and hold my hand. I raised my eyebrows.
“Why would you think something’s wrong?” I asked, laughing slightly.
“You look extremely pale, and you’ve been crying.” He told me. “Plus, you’re trying to drink a whole bottle of wine by yourself.” He said, laughing slightly. “Are you feeling ill again?”
“I haven’t stopped feeling nauseated for 5 days, Kris. But other than that and the fact I’m constantly tired? No. Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine and having fun. It’s what university’s for!” I said, standing up. “Now, if you two would rather stay here – bored with nothing to do – then that’s up to you. But I am going out. To have fun!” I flashed them my bottle and headed down to my bedroom to get changed, swigging again as I walked through the door. I pulled out a black dress, that came to just above the knee, and my black stilettos. I put my wine on my desk just as my door opened. I sighed and sat down.
“What do you want, Kris?” I asked, putting my head on the floor. He lay down next to me so we were facing each other. He held my hand again, and I pushed my fingers through his.
“I don’t want to be bored.” He told me, before leaning in and kissing me on the lips. It was just a soft peck at first, but after a few seconds he opened his mouth and the kiss developed into something further. It only lasted a few seconds, though, before he pulled away. I looked at him confused.
“How much wine have you drunk Gaby?” He asked, laughing and raising his eyebrows.
“Look at the bottle. That’s my first, I promise.” I said, pulling his hand closer to me. He smiled.
“Why are you going out so early, can I ask? No where will be in the party-fun type mood yet.” He told me. I shook my head.
“I don’t care. We’ll force it to be the party-fun type mood.” I said, and he laughed. Suddenly he became very serious.
“Gaby, what’s up?” He asked, looking directly into my eyes. I started to pull my hand out of his, so I could sit up and change the subject, but he held mine tighter and pulled it closer to his chest.
“I’m bored, Kris. I want to have fun. I don’t want to be stuck in this stupid house anymore.” I told him, my voice strong enough that he might actually believe me. He sighed and dropped the subject, but I could tell he knew I was lying.
“So where do you want to go?” He asked, holding my hand tighter.
“Anywhere fun!” I said, smiling now. “Woah.” I sat up quickly, realising something. “I need to talk to Lorna.”
“Why?” Kris asked, confused now.
“I just do.” I said, kissing him lightly on the lips.
I picked my wine bottle up and skipped out of my room, knocking lightly on Lorna’s door.

“Yes?” She asked, opening it. I frowned at her.
“You’re a bitch, you know that?”
She grimaced.
“What’ve I done now?”
“I don’t need to see a doctor!” I said, closing the door behind me as I walked into her room. She glanced at my wine in confusion.
“Yes, erm.. Okay. A psychiatrist, maybe?”
“No! I just – please don’t talk about these things behind my back, okay?”
She shrugged.
“I was just worried, Gaby.”
I rolled my eyes.
“You’re coming out later, right?”
“Sure.” She smiled, “When?”
“An hour – be ready!”
-

My hair was done, my make-up was done and I was dressed and ready for action. I glanced at myself once more in the mirror. I was already starting to feel the wine get to me, and I probably shouldn’t still be drinking it – but I was. It helped though. Stupid, I know, but it made me handle things better. It didn’t go away, but I felt more control. I took a deep breath and stood up, carrying my wine with me. Lorna was just coming out of her room, dressed in a short red cocktail dress, black 6inch heels and hair curled in perfect ringlets. I paused, jealous of how good it made her look. She’d have every guy in the rooms attention tonight. Even her eyes looked amazing! They were outlined so perfectly, and had the perfect amount of silver on to make them sparkle. She noticed me watching her with envy.
“Do I look stupid?” She asked, suddenly self-conscious. Her eyebrows creased together as she twisted round so she could see what she looks like from all angles.
“No! You look great.” I said, smiling at her and walking down the corridor with her next to me.
“So do you! I wish I had your legs! I mean, look how slim your ankles look in those heels! Mine – ergh.” She looked down in disgust. I looked at her in shock. There was nothing wrong with her legs! I would say they’re better than mine, actually.
“Lorna, you’re so ridiculous.” I said, laughing and sitting at the counter. No one else was out of their room yet. “You have perfect legs and perfect ankles.” I told her.
“Yeah, right.”
“No, honestly!”
“Gaby, you have to say that. You’re my friend.” She sighed and sat down on the other side. I rolled my eyes.
“Please! If I wanted to spare your feelings, I’d have gone bright red by now and not met you in the eye.” I scoffed. She raised her eyebrows.
“Okay, well anyway! Who’s coming with us?” She asked, smiling.
“Not a clue.” I said, taking a gulp of my wine. She gave me a disapproving look.
“You know, you shouldn’t really be allowed head starts.” She said, trying to take the wine off me. I clung to it desperately.
“Mine!” I said, like a child. A child… I took another swig. “I need it.” I muttered quietly, and I felt my panic start rising again. I took a deep breath and sat up, trying to take my mind off it. I needed to hold back all those wrong, very wrong, thoughts. It’s just an over reaction. It’s just me being paranoid. So I’m holding it all back. I’m going to enjoy myself and forget my worries.
“What for?” Lorna snorted. “You hardly have any problems!”
If only she knew.
I sighed.
“And you do?” I asked, hoping she didn’t hear the strain in my voice.
“A massive one.”
“Ah, the nerd.” I caught on straight away. She started laughing. “Just dump him already.”
“I really do like him.” She muttered, “Just sometimes – He drives me insane!”
“Good on you!”
“Not helping Gaby.” She laughed, and some bedroom doors finally started opening.

To Be Continued...

4.

My head was already pounding, but it was good. In a way it was a pain relief. Yes, it caused more pain, but it blocked the deeper pain boiling deep inside of me. Or was that pain a fear? Or nerves? I didn’t know. It was a feeling I’d never experienced before.
I looked around the booming nightclub. We’d come to the loft, after spending 3 hours at the SU. I felt oddly uneasy being here again, as last time I’d hurt my ankle. It was very busy as well. I kept losing everyone. Me and Lorna were now walking around linked together to make sure we didn’t separate again.
“I can’t see anyone!” Lorna screamed over the loud music. My ears strained to hear what she’d said.
“No! Me neither! Let’s go back upstairs!”
She nodded and we both stumbled through the crowd. We were extremely drunk. Lorna fell into the banister and a guy caught her.
“Why Hellooooo.” Lorna said, winking and letting him hold her by the waist. I rolled my eyes and started laughing.
“Lorna! Your dork won’t be happy!”
“Screw him! I want to have fun!” She pulled the guy closer to her when she said the word fun and they started dancing. I wonder who this guy actually was. He didn’t look familiar, but not many people did yet.
“Okay, I’m going to find people!” I screamed, and laughed as I ran up the stairs to find our friends. I saw Natalie straight away, snogging someone’s face off. Pleasant… I stumbled through the crowd, failing to see any other faces I recognised. I decided to settle myself at the bar. It seemed like the obvious place to find people. They’d have to come for drinks at some point.
“Can I get you something?” The barman asked, I just shook my head. He smiled and walked away. I turned around to face the crowd and waited.

-

“You look lonely.” Zak was suddenly next to me, a smirk on his face.
“I am! Everyone abandoned me.” I said, laughing. He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders, walking me away from the bar. Once we were towards the centre of the room, he moved his arm and pushed me over to a corner.
“3-2-1…”
I narrowed my eyes as I saw I’d been missing all the fun. Zoë, Kris, Hannah, 2 girls and 3 lads I’d never met, plus obviously Zak, had been playing drinking games. Without me!
“Hand it over!” Zoë said smugly, hitting one of the lads I didn’t know on the arm.
“I told you I didn’t have the money.” He said, looking a bit embarrassed.
“Whatever!” Zoë laughed, and started dancing with one of the girls. She was a brunette. I don’t think I’d met her yet. “Me and Sarah are going to dance!” Zoë said, grabbing the girls hand. Sarah looked slightly reluctant, but then smiled and ran off with Zoë.
“So I’ve been missing all the fun, eh?” Lorna suddenly pushed her way into the little group we’d formed. A few people laughed, and others just looked at her confused – as they didn’t know her.
“Me too Lorna, me too.” I said, pretending to be sad about it. Actually, I wasn’t pretending too much. I had been missing out on a lot of fun.
“Fine then ladies.” The same man that told Zoë he didn’t have the money said, passing us two glasses. “First to finish a full glass of straight vodka wins £10.”
“From who?” I asked raising my eyebrows.
“Whoever loses, obviously.” He said, winking. He seemed like a sleaze.
“Deal!” Lorna screamed, overly excited. I laughed.
“Fine, ok.”
“Me too!” Hannah said, laughing. I saw the 2nd girl I didn’t know nod in agreement, and one of the lads I didn’t know too. Kris was giving me a look I recognised. He was telling me I was going to lose – against him!
“Wait.” Zak paused everyone as they started filling the glasses. We all looked at him. “Do the losers have to give them a tenner each, or just £10 all together from everyone?”
“A tenner each, idiot.” Lorna said, continuing to fill her glass. I thought for a moment.
“I’m still in.” I mumbled quietly.
“You playing Zak?” Hannah asked, holding the vodka out. He thought for a moment.
“Alright, fine.”
“Yes!” Lorna said, ecstatic.
“3. 2. 1-”
Everyone started drinking. It only too 3 seconds for us all to have completely finished. We were all trying to ignore the sudden dryness in the back of our throats. I smiled. It felt soothing to me. In turn, each head pointed to the only person who hadn’t joined in the game. One of the lads I didn’t know.
“I’d say her-” He pointed straight at me. “-But I don’t know.”
“Cough up!” I said, holding my hand out for people to give me money. Lorna didn’t move, Kris glared at me, the sleaze looked shifty, Zak looked annoyed, the girl I didn’t know looked miffed. Hannah was the only one who spoke.
“Hang on a minute Rhys. Are you sure you’re not just saying this because she’s a good looking girl?” Hannah narrowed her eyes.
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m not a cheat.” Rhys replied. I smirked.
“Face it everyone. I’m the best.” I held my hand out again. Kris just laughed at me even thinking he’d give me money. Idiot. Lorna looked sad about losing, but still dug around her purse to give me money. Everyone else just gave me loose change.
By the time everyone had finished, I had £5.30. A £5 note from Lorna, 10p from Zak, 5p from the unknown girl, 10p from the unknown guy, 4p from Hannah and a whole penny from Kris.
“Thanks.” I muttered sadly.
“Again?” Lorna asked, her eyes lighting up.
“I think that could kill us all.” Kris said, but he smiled and started filling his glass up again.

-

Lorna started jumping up and down, laughing and moving her hand above her to the beat of the song. I laughed at first, but started copying her seconds later.
“I LOVE THIS SONG!” Lorna screamed, as a song I faintly recognised came on. I thought for a second and then laughed. It was Discovery Channel.
“Lorna! You listen to Bloodhound Gang?!” I asked, shocked. She just screamed and started jumping up and down. I was planning on walking away, but I could feel my hold on the fear gradually slipping. I started screaming along with Lorna.
“YOU AND ME BABY AINT NOTHING BUT MAMMALS!” Lorna shrieked, completely out of tune. I just laughed at her.
“Why is this song on in here?!” I yelled, still laughing. She shrugged.
“Don’t know! But I love that it is!”
The instrumental part came on and we both started waving our hands to the beat. Lorna slipped and fell on the floor. I laughed hysterically as she stumbled back to her feet and swayed for a few seconds before getting her balance back. I was laughing so hard that when someone’s arms wrapped themselves around my waist I almost choked myself. At first I thought it was that creep Darren – who’d already tried to feel me up twice tonight - again, so started to pull away – until they kissed my neck. It was Kris.
“Hey!” I shouted, putting my hands on his. I felt my hand start shaking as I realised where he’d placed his. Where mine rested. So much for the tight hold I had on my fear.
“Are you okay?” He asked, right in my ear so I could hear.
“Of course, why?” I asked, taking my hand off his so it would stop shaking.
“You seem a little stressed. Is it because of Darren? He’s a git. Russ took him outside.” His voice sounded slightly angry. I wondered if it was because of what Darren tried to do.
“Who’s Russ?”
“The guy Nancy lives with.”
“And Nancy is..?”
“The girl Sarah invited.”
“That’s the brunette Zoë invited, right?” I asked, confused now. He laughed.
“Yes.” He kissed my cheek. The song ended and Lorna groaned in complaint.
“Again!!” She screamed, until an old black eyed peas song came on and she suddenly became overly happy. She ran off down the stairs.
“Do you know what time it is?” I asked, turning so I could face him now. His arms were still around my waist, but his hands now sat at the bottom of my back, rather than… there.
“Nearly 1, I think.” He said, smiling.
“Oh – cool.” I kept hold of his hand and started walking in the direction Lorna went. I haven’t been down the stairs in a good 2 hours now. “Natalie!” I said, grabbing her and towing her with us.
“Hey Gabs!” She greeted me, “and Kris.” She added, smiling at him. “What’s up?”
“You’ve missed out on all the fun!” I told her.
“I’ve been with guys.” She said, winking at me. I laughed and stopped when we got to the centre of the dance floor.
“Where did Lorna go?” I asked, looking around.
“Have we honestly come down here just to look for our friends?” Kris asked, rolling his eyes.
“Fine, Natalie go away.” I said, and she laughed but walked away without even thinking about it. I turned back to Kris. “What do you want to do?” I said, smiling at him. He laughed and started walking to a quieter area. He leaned forwards and kissed me, pulling me closer to him. I put my arms around his neck and clung myself to him. He pulled away sooner than I wanted him to.
“Can we get out of here yet?” He asked, looking around as he said it. I was trying to control my now exelerated breathing. I nodded quickly and he laughed, kissing me again briefly. He held my hand and pulled me back up the steps and out the door.
“This brings back horrible memories.” I muttered, walking hesitantly down the stairs. He laughed.
“But you’re not off your head this time.”
“I’ve drank more!” I said, laughing.
“Then why aren’t you wasted?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.
“I have things on my mind that keep sobering me up.” I said, slightly annoyed, slightly upset.
“Like what?”
“Nothing.” I said, shrugging.
“Want to talk about it?” He asked, as we got to the bottom and started heading for halls. I shook my head.
“Not now… Maybe when I’m ready. In a few days.” I sighed and closed my eyes for a minute, knowing that he could guide me even though I couldn’t see. He wouldn’t let me fall, I knew that.
“You’re not tired, are you?” He said, laughing. I opened my eyes.
“No!” I insisted. “Just thinking.”
He squeezed me tighter as we walked through a side alley, it was quicker this way. I tried to squeeze myself closer to him, without making it obvious that I was actually slightly scared. He put his other arm around me and pulled me into his side. I didn’t fool anyone, did I? I put both my arms around him, going on the inside of his jacket so I was warmer, and leaned against his side. I was walking awkwardly, but it was much comfier. He kissed my head.
“I love you.” He said, and it was almost a sigh.
“I know.” I laughed. He stopped when we reached the end of the alley and turned to face me.
“You do know though, right?”
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to try and explain it again.” I begged, he shook his head smiling.
“No, I promise.” He leaned closer towards me and kissed me. “But I really love you.”
“And I love you. But you already know that.” I laughed, pulling him towards me again.
“I love you.” He whispered again.
“Okay, you are so drunk!” I said, smiling and pulling him back towards halls. I didn’t move my arms. They were still wrapped securely around his waist.

To Be Continued...

Final.

“Kris-”
His lips met mine again so I couldn’t continue. I clutched him closer to me, trying to control my wild breathing. I pulled away so I could breathe easier.
“Kris – please.” I said, moving away as he tried to pull me back to him. “Bedroom?” I asked, smiling and pulling him down the corridor. He laughed and pushed me down to my bedroom, kissing my neck as we walked. I felt my head spin. Once my bedroom door closed, I turned around and clung to him again, pressing my lips against his. He pulled me closer to him and started running his hands up and down my back, along my waist, hips, thigh… I held him tighter. He pulled me across to my bed and pushed me down. I laughed and dragged him down with me, making sure we were never more than a few centimetres apart. He held himself up over me, kissing me very… romantically. That’s the only word I can use. I pulled myself up so I could kiss him and at least attempt to take his shirt off. I held his shoulders first, then ran my hand across his chest until I got to the buttons. I suddenly realised that he wasn’t wearing his usual girly stuff. I felt myself freeze and he pulled away.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, kissing my cheek.
“What are you wearing?” I frowned as I realised he was just wearing a plain white shirt and jeans. Why hadn’t I noticed this earlier? Was I really that drunk? Or did I just have other things on my mind. Other stupid ridiculous things. My stomach suddenly started tingling.
He groaned, “Does it matter?” He asked, kissing my neck. My mind was distracted again and I was happy. I continued to unbutton his shirt.
“Has your dress got a zip?” He asked, his kisses were making their way back towards my lips, running along my jaw, across my cheek. He kissed me for almost a minute before I could reply.
“Yes.” I said, laughing slightly. I felt nervous, and didn’t really understand why. It wasn’t exactly like this was our first time… He ran his hand around my back until he got to my left side and found the zip.
“I love you.” He whispered, and then he slid it down and removed my dress.

-

My head hurt.
I felt sick.
The daylight honestly didn’t help. It just made my head hurt even more. I closed my eyes again and rolled into Kris’s chest. He kissed my head to show he was awake.
“Morning.” I muttered, before yawning. I kissed his chest and he laughed once.
“Good morning.” He whispered back. “How are you feeling?”
“Hungover,” I said, “You?”
“Not the worst hangover, but I’ve felt better.” He said, and I could sense that he was smiling.
“Well, I’m definitely in need of a paracetemol.” I tried to turn myself around more, the sunlight still seemed to be blinding me even through my closed eyes.
“Ergh.” I groaned, “It’s no use.”
“What?”
“I need to get up.” I sat up quickly, looking at my alarm clock.
“Why?” Kris asked, laughing at my sudden movement. He tried to pull me back down, but I made sure he couldn’t.
“I have a lecture in 2 hours.”
“That’s ages away!”
“Not if I want to look alive.” I said, rolling my eyes and putting some clothes on. I heard him sigh and give up on trying to make me stay. I grabbed a towel from my draw and smiled at him.
“I won’t be long.” I said, smiling and running into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and turned the shower on.

I wrapped the towel around me, carrying my clothes out of the bathroom. My hair was dripping over my shoulders in a tangled not. I opened my bedroom door as Kris was just opening it from the other side to leave. I smiled.
“Hi there.” I said, walking past him so I could go inside. He put his arms around me and kissed my cheek.
“What are you doing today?” He asked, as I pulled back so I wouldn’t get him wet.
“Nothing, except my lecture. I might start on an essay, but it’s not due in for a couple of weeks.” I smiled, “Why?”
“I just thought, maybe, we could do something?” He said it as a question. I nodded.
“Anything.”
“Good, I'll see you after your lecture then.” He kissed me briefly, before turning to leave my room.
“Kris.” I started, thinking it was better to do it now when I wasn’t already freaking out.
“Yeah?” He asked, smiling slightly.
“Can I talk to you…About something… Now?”
“What’s up?” He asked, frowning slightly.
“It’s what’s been… bothering me.”
“Is it extremely important or can it wait?” He seemed reluctant to say it. I sighed.
“I suppose it can wait. It is important – but if you’re busy..” I shrugged, feeling the pain burst through me in 2 seconds. The one person I needed to talk to about this was asking me if it could wait.
“Tonight, I promise.” He said, moving towards me and kissing me on the forehead again.
“Yeah – okay.” I said, feeling the tears fill my eyes. I turned away and started getting things out of my drawers. “See you later.”
I could see him out of the corner of my eye, hesitating at the door. He could tell I was upset, but for some reason he wasn’t badgering me like he usually did. I got myself some clothes out the wardrobe, and when I turned back to the door it was closed and Kris had gone.